10:44 PM ET  01.04 | Prior Undergoes Shoulder Surgery - McDonald's Transfers Him from 15-day to 60-day Disabled List

(Irving Park, IL) - If you ask the average baseball fan where Mark Prior is, you will probably get a muddled "I don't know." If you ask the average Cubs fan where Mark Prior is, you will either get an irate "who cares?" or a dispassionate "I think he's still rehabbing in extended spring training with the AAA club." But if you ask a resident of Irving Park in Northwest Chicago, you'll get a much more excited response: "That guy can sling a McGriddle like nobody's business!"

While taking a break from baseball, Prior was recruited by the Irving Park McDonald's to serve as one of the franchise's five starting Associate Morning and Mid-afternoon Assistant Managers. "It's a pretty good gig, and hey, a guy's gotta work. Baseball wasn't putting food on the table. So now I am. And I get a serious discount," Prior said of the job last week.


Prior may have served his last Mighty Kids Meal in a McDonald's uniform.

But the news is not all good for Prior and the McDonald's franchise. Wednesday morning, Prior underwent exploratory surgery in his right shoulder where a slight tear in his labrum was discovered. "All I've been asking myself the last two days is 'Why?' Why my flipping shoulder?" Prior lamented. "Same darn thing happened to our [french] fry guy, Larry, but it was his non-flipping shoulder. Lucky ****."

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(In case it isn't painfully obvious, this is a PARODY news publication, so accounts and quotes are FICTIONAL. Mark Prior did not actually say or do these things, although I'm sure he could sling a mighty fine McGriddle if he were so inclined. No one should construe this fake article as being fact. Additionally, any similarity between this and other publications is entirely coincidental. Don't sue. We don't have money anyway. Complaints taken at ace@bricksandivyradio.com)