Josh Q. Public: All of a sudden I saw sheriff John Brown. Aiming to shoot me down. So I shot. I shot. I shot him down and I say: If I am guilty I will pay. -Bob Marley
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! Can we say it now? Huh, can we? Can we say Jose Reyes is now the best shortstop in New York City. I got a hundred guns, a hundred clips, I'm from New York, New York. I got a semi-automatic that spits next time if you talk, you talk. Jose Reyes is from New York, New York. Jose Reyes got a hundred clips in his semi-automatic. Firing at will. Firing when ready grizzly. And it seems to me, he's ready all the time, grizzly. Ready Freddy, now go cat go. This cat goes. Goes cat goes. Reyes already has eighteen stolen bases on the year. He finished with sixty-four steals last year. He stole sixty the year before that. Imagine that. Strawberries and whipped cream, know what I mean? Imagine that. It doesn't hurt that since spring training last year, he has worked with future Hall of Famer Rickey Henderson. Rickey Henderson, the all-time king of stolen bases. Jo-se Jo-se, Jo-se Jo-se! Ya ya, we know. Jeter's got the rings. What means the world to you, diamond rings, shining things. But that was yesterday. Suddenly. I'm not half the man I used to be. There's a shadow hanging over me. Oh, yesterday came suddenly. Not for Senor Reyes. Not for Professor Reyes. Let's learn some Spanish with Professor Reyes. Shall we? Jugador de beisbol de Abril. You know what that means boys and girls? Huh, do ya? It means National League Player of the Month. That's what that means. Well sorta. It means Reyes finished the month of April with a .356 average. It means Reyes finished the month of April with seventeen stolen bases. It means Reyes finished the month of April with five triples. Get the papers, get the papers, get the papers. And to think he almost wasn't a Met. Yup, it's true. When spittin' Bobby Alomar came to New York, Jose almost left. You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille. He didn't leave. He's still a Met. Meet the Mets. Meet the Mets. Step right up and greet the Mets! Bring your kiddies, bring your wife. Guaranteed to have the time of your life. Jose's having the time of his life. You Bet Your Life! Say the secret word and win a prize. Hooray for Captain Spaulding, the African explorer. He brought his name undying fame, and that is why we say: Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray for Jose! Is there a more exciting player anywhere right now than Jose Reyes? He could very well hit twenty-five bombs. Spanish bombs rock the province. I'm hearing music from another time. Hooray for Jose! He could very well drive in one-hundred runs. Son, you're gonna drive me t' drinkin' if you don't quit drivin' that hot rod Lincoln. Hooray for Jose! He could very well score 140 runs and steal seventy bases. He could very well win a Gold Glove. He could very well be the best player in beisbol.
Public Acknowledgements: New York Daily News, Joel Sherman, Ja Rule, Carl Perkins, R. Kelly, Cam'ron, Beatles, Goodfellas, Julius Marx, The Clash, Charlie Ryan and the Livingston Brothers and Tom Verducci.
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even!