Patrick Willis Facts | Jeremy Fain's Blog

Patrick Willis facts.

I got this idea from Fooch over at NinersNation.com. He got the idea from the Chuck Norris facts you may have heard of.

However, these are all original ideas.

Once, Clark Kent stepped into a phone booth and stepped out in a Willis uniform.

Willis rents out the Fortress of Solitude to Superman. Superman has never been late on rent.

Thunder isn't actually the sound of lightning, it's the sound of Willis popping his knuckles.

The movie Twins(with Schwarzenegger and DeVito)was actually based on Willis' birth. It's true, turns out Gary Coleman is his twin, "What chu talkin' bout Willis."

Willis once tackled a guy so hard that Emanuel Lewis popped out of his arse.

Bush nominated Willis for secretary of defense but he didn't meet the age requirement.

Willis doesn't cross the Golden Gate bridge to get across the Bay, he leaps it.

Willis doesn't need to be articulate or have a large vocabulary, he just mumbles and people say "Okay Patrick, please don't tackle me."

When Willis has children, he won't be able to play with them because he will tackle their little arses into oblivion.

As a youngster, Willis didn't spin the merry-go-round, he spun the Earth.

Willis' origins can be traced back to a black hole deep within the universe.

Willis once tackled Mount Everest. Everest was on IR for the rest of the season.

Willis was once on the Price is Right. Bob Barker said, "Patrick Willis come on down." Willis thought he heard "down set hut." Well, needless to say, Drew Carey is now the host.

Willis' keyboard is made from titanium.

Tipper Gore once tried to censor Willis for violent tackles.

Willis isn't ticklish, he's tacklish.

Willis was once pulled over for going 75 in a 70, he was on foot.

Willis wasn't slowed by the rookie wall. Willis IS the rookie wall.

Willis has catlike reflexes, he doesn't have nine lives though, he has 49.

What's the difference between Willis and Chuck Norris? Norris does infomercials.

Uncle Sam once told Willis, "I want You." Willis tackled his arse without hesitation.