So for the Thanksgiving games, I went 3-0. Between all the cooking and cleaning before guests arrived, I got to watch parts of the 2 games that were on network TV...and then saw some of the highlights of the NFL Network game. Here's a couple quick thoughts on those games...
I'm beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, Rod Marinelli isn't cut out to be a head coach. During the first season under a new coach, you want to see improvement as the season goes on...and I'm not seeing it. I saw a terrible Defense, that was leaving WRs wide open against Miami, and letting Joey Harrington have his way with them...the same Joey that was a complete bust for the Lions. I picture Matt Millen wandering the streets of Detriot, with a bottle of Wild Turkey in a brown paper bag, crying, screaming "why" and punching random objects. And if he's not, he should be. The thing is, Marinelli is supposed to be a Defensive minded coach, but the Lions D just looks sad. Maybe they don't have the perfect personel, but a good coach modifies his schemes to match the personel. It's stil early, and he could prove me wrong, but as of right now, I'm marking him down as a sub-standard coach.
My 2 thoughts on the Cowboys game...
Tony F-ing Romo! Who knew? Jeez, this guy is looking good. I was making fun of this QB matchup, but Romo looks to be the real deal. All I can say is...wow.
During the time I was tuned into the game, Aikman and Buck started talking about TO, and MAKING EXCUSES for the the guy!!! He had already dropped 3 passes...and terrible number for 1 game...and they were both talking about how "that's not a big part of his game" and "that's his one weakness"...um, what? Since when is not catching the ball a big part of a WRs game? Did I miss something? Isn't good hands the very skill that makes a WR special? And since when does he not have good hands? This is a player who between 2000 and 2004 averaged 89 receptions a season. And I looked up 4 different scouting reports, all written prior to this season, and they all say "Outstanding hands". It just proves that Buck is a moron, and Troy is a major homer.
Wow, so, Plummer...he's in trouble. He might not be replaced this year, but Broncos fans might just hunt him down. Ouch, sucks to be Jake the Snake.
Finally, one last thing, the Chimp and I talked it over, he wants to be known as Mr. Peeps, due to his bladder control problem. He originally wanted "Lord Fecal, king of the brown smear" but that was too long, and let's face it, not very catchy.
Cincinnati at Cleveland
Why can't we have rivalry week in the NFL? College does it, couldn't the NFL set aside one week towards the end of the season, and put on a rivalry week? Bears-Packers. Colts-Pats. Jets-Giants. Cowboys-Redskins. Browns-Bengals. I'm sure there are others I', forgetting...I mean everyone in the AFC West hates the Raiders, so they can't all play them...but you get the point.
I've been harping on the Bengals inability to stop the run...but holy jeez, they can't stop the pass either! In the last 8 games, they are allowing 398 yards a game of total offense!! And Drew Brees just threw for 500+ against them. Not good. Basically, the Bengals have decided that Defense is for suckers.
Mr. Peeps has but a blond Mohawk into his head, and is strutting around the room like a Rooster trying to score. I agree, the Bengals D is terrible, but their O is way ahead of the Browns right now. This will be another high scoring game, but the Bengals will pull it out.
Jacksonville at Buffalo
The Jags have been all over the place this year...some weeks they look great, and the next week...the lose to the Texans. It's always a mystery who will show up. They had a big Home win last week, and now head out on the road against the Bills...
While I'm on the subject of the Bills...what in the hell was OJ thinking with the "This is how I would of done it" book and show? Should of re-titled it, "Yes, I did it, I got away with it, and now I'm going to rub your faces in it." Man, this man needs a swift kick to the jimmy.
Mr. Peeps sprits across the room, and then pulls up and grabs his groin....so he's picking the Jags...I can spot a Fred Taylor impersonation from 50 paces. The Jags win a game that is a little too close for comfort...and Fred Taylor's groin makes it through the game.
Pittsburgh at Baltimore
This could be the coffin nail game for the Steelers. Lose here, and the season is officially over. The Ravens would like nothing better...plus, a win for the Ravens tightens their grasp on the division. Should be a good, hard fought game. And with the Steelers, you never know what you're going to get...
In college, I had a friend, great guy...but when he drank...which was often, it was college...you never knew what you were going to get with him. It was sort of Russian roulette with him...you'd start drinking and keep one eye on him at all times...cause some nights he would just threaten to beat the snot out of a guy for looking at him wrong...and then other nights he would be the life of the party...and still other nights, everyone else would pass out, and he'd still be drinking by himself watching porn at 6am. Just a total mixed bag. But you always drank with him, cause you were hoping for the life of the party guy to show up...and he was your friend, so you're not going to stop drinking with him.
That's how the Steelers make me feel this year...
Mr. Peeps is reading the Tell Tale Heart, and I'll agree, the Ravens win this one. The Steelers are left drunk, watching porn by themselves at 6am.
New Orleans at Atlanta
I'll keep this one short. As long as the Vick and the Falcons insist on trying to win every game by heaving the ball again and again...they will continue to lose.
Ah, very nice...Mr. Peeps is striking a Heisman pose. Looks like the Saints win this one. And the Falcons continue the trend of falling apart down the stretch. Someone check to see if Jim Mora is really Dave Wannstedt in disguise.
Carolina at Washington
Wow, the Panthers D stepped up last week, and really took it to the Rams. A shut out is always a nice thing. Their O wasn't all that impressive, especially against a Rams team that really hasn't been all that stellar, but the Panthers pulled out the victory, so that's a start.
Meanwhile the Jason Campbell era started, and took a loss. But he didn't look all that bad. He's got some things to learn, but it looks as if he could develop into a solid starter.
But can he do that this week with Julius Peppers in his face al game?
What is that smell? Ah, crap, Mr. Peeps, not in the house. Yes, I know you like BBQ, but did you have to roast the pig in the house? And at least take the dress off it...man, does anyone know how to get smell of burnt cotton and roast pig out of a carpet? Panthers win.
San Francisco at St. Louis
Wow, the 49ers are on a winning streak. I repeat, the Niners are on a winning streak!!
So was anyone else bored with all the "Coach Nolan is wearing a suit" talk during the Hawks-Niners game? They used the damn telestrator to show me that he's wearing what appeared to be Reebok golf cleats. Sorry, I don't really care what the head coach is wearing. And I definitely don't need a circle drawn around his feet so that I know where his shoes are. Hell, my daughter can tell you that shoes go on feet, and she's 18 months old.
Meanwhile, the Rams are on a losing streak. A 5 game losing streak...ouch. They were 4-1 to start the season...and do you know who gave them that 1 loss?
The Niners. Yuck.
MR. PEEPS!! Man, do you have to live up to your name at all times? I mean, seriously, peeing all over a Reebok sport coat, the official sport coat of the NFL, is a little much don't you think? Yes, I get it, you're taking the Rams, but man, you had a lot of coffee today.
Arizona at Minnesota
Holy crap!! The Cards won! I didn't think it was possible!! I did find a coach to nominate for "worse coach than Denny Green", but I'll write about that another day...don't have the energy to do it now.
What's this Mr. Peeps? Well, I can barely make out your hand writing on this card..."With the first pick of the 2007 draft, the Arizona Cardinals select..." Um, Mr. Peeps, I don't think you're eligible. Vikings win, the Cards will live the life of winners for only 1 week.
Houston at NY Jets
With all due respect to Texans and Jets fans...I have absolutely nothing to say about this game. Have no interest whatsoever. Just a total bore of a game. Mr. Peeps? You want to take it from here?
Oh dear god, he got into the schnapps again and passed out. Crap, I'll have to pick this one. Let's go with the Jets, just can't take Houston on the road, even if Pennington is throwing the ball like a DRUNK MONKEY! Oh, crap, that woke him up and pissed him off....Mr. Peeps, have some more Schnapps...yeah, that's a good boy...go to sleep, go to sleep....
Oakland at San Diego
Does LT break the TD record this week? He only needs 9 to tie. I give him an outside chance at it against the Raiders.
Is there a worse QB in the league right now than Aaron Brooks? The guy is just awful. He's regressed every year he's been in the league, and just looks like a 3 legged goat would have more success then him this year.
Mr. Peeps reaches up to a chalkboard, crosses out 19, and writes 23. So it looks like, he's saying LT will get 4 TDs in the game. Chargers win.
Chicago at New England
This is the game I've had circled on the calendar for a long time. I had this pegged as the "If the Bears can win this one, they're really ready" game. But now, I'm not so sure. This is still a big test, any road game is, but the Pats haven't looked all that great the last few weeks, and they're DBs are banged up again.
They have no one that scares me at WR, and I have faith the Bears can load up to stop the running game. The only thing I worry about is the Grossman factor. And while he didn't play great last week, he didn't turn the ball over, and that's a good thing. And with the banged up Pats secondary, the big plays should be there.
Mr. Peeps has his Brady jersey on, but I'm ignoring him. I think the Bears can pull this one out. It will be another close, defensive battle like last week, but the opportunistic Bears will find a way to win this one.
Come on, did you expect anything different from me?
NY Giants at Tennessee
Big Blue is taking on water at an alarming rate. The injuries are mounting, the Defense can barely field a team, and Eli has forgotten how to throw the ball to his receivers. Let me be clear, he's still throwing the ball, but he can't figure out how to hit them in the numbers. He just looks awful right now. And poor Shockey only gets a couple balls a game, and the rest of the time looks like he's going to punch someone. On top of all that, Tiki's hand is hurting. Not good times for the Giants.
The Titans are being led by VY and Travis Henry. Yeah, I know, that totally doesn't sound right. But it's true. They've been getting better every week, and I think it's safe to say, that Jeff Fisher's job isn't in jeopardy anymore.
Mr. Peeps has a 2006 team photo of the Giants, and has been putting Xs over al the players that are out with injuries...at last count, I think there are only 8 without Xs...and 2 of them were the trainers. Doesn't look good for the Giants, and look even worse for their season. But hey, you guys could have Philip Rivers...oh wait, that was supposed to be encouraging...crap.
Philadelphia at Indianapolis
That flex scheduling worked out great! Man, glad we get to see the epic QB battle of Manning-Garcia in Primetime instead of say, oh I don't know, Pats-Bears? Jerks.
Mr. Peeps simply holds up a Mastercard and a Sprint phone, and then falls asleep. Colts win, and we see WAY too many Peyton commercials.
Green Bay at Seattle
Ah, Aaron Rodgers, we hardly knew ye.
From what I've read, the Packers were so excited about Rodgers debut, and subsequent injury, that they told Favre they would rename the stadium after him if he would never retire.
The Hawks have to figure out how to play D, or they're going to get killed in the playoffs.
In a show of strength, Mr. Peeps just tore a Cheesehead in half. I told him to use one of the foam hats, but he insisted on using a real Wisconsonite. Damn, those things make a mess when you tear them in half. And I have no clue how to explain it to the cops. Hawks win, but the D bends really baldy, and Favre has a chance to win it late.
And I think that's it, another week closer to the playoffs. Well, I'm going to go sleep off all my food...as the 3 cups of coffee with my pie is finally wearing off. Remember, these picks were made by a trained Chimp, so only use them as gambling aids if counting to 10 requires you to use all 10 fingers and all 10 toes.