Hey everyone, so how good was that Cincy-Baltimore game last night?! Oh what? No one saw it? And I thought I was the only one. Anyway, that really bothers me that there’s an NFL playing live and no one can see it. That’s a huge problem and its worth fixing for next year. With regards to my prediction of the Ravens winning that game, I have nothing else to say. Its funny, I originally wrote the following “With the reemergence of Chad Johnson, and the Bengals O-line protecting Carson Palmer, the Bengals are going to score on the Ravens in spades and will leave everyone to wonder what happens next.” Then I rethunk my pick, and realized that hey wait! The Bengals can’t protect their QB even if they had Kalashnikovs. The Ravens had nine sacks last week. This is not a good matchup for the Bengals. Little did I know that my original thought was correct. Well, such is life I guess.
Now lets look at my track record since Week 8 when I started this blog.
Week 8: 6-7
Week 9: 5-8
Week 10: 10-6
Week 11: 11-5
Week 12: 9-7
I feel like a newly formed franchise that grew from mediocrity to playoff team then their star player suffered an injury during the 5th year. I think my star player is coming back this week though and I should have a record to put me in playoff contention again (+10 wins). Overall for the season, I’m sporting a respectable 40-33 (.550) record after Week 12 and I plan on extending that winning track record despite losing one last night. If I can consistently break the 10 win barrier, perhaps I should be paid for this, as there are obviously countless readers using my picks to bet and make money off my expertise. With that in mind, look forward to even better weeks in the future!
I’d really like to do a little musical rendition (ala Josh) with my own personal library of songs, but that just wouldn’t be creative as I’d like it to be. Depending on how I feel, I’ll throw one or two in there. As usual, I’ll just add my own eccentric thoughts for your personal enjoyment.
Week 13 starts now:
49ers @ Saints, Sunday 1pm
The Saints, are coming. There, right off the bat I just quoted that stupid Green Day/Bono song. Are you happy now? No but really, the Saints are coming, and coming hard to secure a playoff spot in the sloppy NFC. They are also at home, which means, they have God himself/herself on their side. Saints aren’t going to be beaten by one of the worst pass defenses in the league this week. Drew Brees might as well throw every play deep to Henderson, Colston, Horn, Bush, whoever is downfield will be opened for at least 1 big play. I’m counting on two passes of over 50 yards in this one. As a quick side note, I really need Reggie Bush to have a big day, because I had CJ last night without a TD, and Matt Stover poo’d himself and missed a 29 yard field goal, netting me -2 points. Thanks buddy.
Final Score: Saints 34, 49ers 22
Cardinals @ Rams, Sunday 1pm
How about those Rams eh? The finally got off the “schnyde” and won their first game in 6 contests last week. This game will prove a few things. If the Rams win, they will end up with a better record than the 49ers. If Tory Holt doesn’t score a TD, he might be the biggest fantasy collapse all year (6 TDs in the first 6 weeks). If Edge can’t break 100 yards against the Rams, he might as well be JJ Arrington. And if the Cardinals blow it in the end, Denny Green will inevitably scream out that he knew what the Rams were or something during the post-game conference. I can see the Cardinals winning this one, but I don’t think its gonna happen. Those Rams need to win this game and grasp a playoff spot, especially if the 49ers are their biggest competition.
Final Score: Rams 27, Cardinals 17
Chargers @ Bills, Sunday 1pm
As you all know, I love the Chargers as a team. It doesn’t hurt that San Diego is a most glorious city full of warm weather, little precipitation, and beautiful women. It’s also one of the farthest cities in the continental US away from Boston. Do you see a comeback victory this week for the Chargers? I don’t. I’m seeing LT score two first quarter TDs and the Chargers jump out to a seemingly insurmountable lead by halftime. LT might take part of the game off to recharge, and when that happens, the Bills slowly make a comeback that comes up short in the 4th quarter.
Final Score: Chargers 31, Bills 25
Chiefs @ Browns, Sunday 1pm
Poor LJ. They hated on him during the Heisman voting, the NFL draft, and Dick Vermeil called him a baby during his first few years in the NFL. Now, he’s being beaten like an ox in front of an 18th century lawnmower. One day, this dude won’t even be able to walk down the stairs in his house he’ll be so beaten up. I love LJ, and I always have since Penn St. No one ever gave him the respect he deserved as a running back. Now, he’s getting almost too much respect, as they are relying on him too much. The Chiefs should draft a WR next year so they actually have a dual threat, because with Kennison and Parker as their premier wide receivers, they are a one-ox team. By the way, expect the 30 carries, 160 yards, and 2 TDs for the Ox in carrying home a victory for the arrowheads.
Final Score: Chiefs 24, Browns 13
Colts @ Titans, Sunday 1pm
Oh great, that unicorn is back again. Damn Vince Young for making the absurd comeback against Arthur Pincus’s G-men last week. He was so lucky that…
- That Giant thought the whistle had been blown
- That Eli Manning threw the worst pass in recent memory to turn over the ball at the end of the game.
That being said, the guy pulled out another rabbit from his helmet, and he deserves credit. He’s a great leader, the anti-Mike Vick. They have a similar skill set, with Vick having better speed and arm strength, but what separates VY is his intangibles such as leadership and poise. When both their careers are done, the obvious choice for better QB is going to be Vince Young. That being said, he might be able to play up to the Colts for a quarter or two, but this game has a Manning second-half-to-remember written all over it. Titans will grab a lead in the 1st half, followed by 3 Manning TD’s within the first 8 minutes of the 2nd half. Plus, Joe Addai appears he can wear out teams now after the AFC player of the week ran for 170 yards and four TDs last week. Peyton will use lightning to spark the small comeback and the Colts will use Addai to put it away.
Final Score: Colts 37, Titans 28
Falcons @ Redskins, Sunday 1pm
Hmm, will the Falcons finally win a game against a done Skins team? The coach killer with his double barreled “I’m #1” last week will have a pretty good game passing the ball. I know, sounds crazy right? Well, it seems like it’s in the cards. The Falcons would be stupid to fire Jim Mora, as he has done all anyone can with Mike Vick at QB. They should seriously consider platooning Schaub and Vick. That would work so well. Just like a two-faced running back combo, Vick and Schaub can come in and screw up defenses like crazy. On important passing plays, put Schaub in. When you want to change up the defensive momentum, throw Vick in there so he’s even more of a threat to run. Has any team every done something so crazy before? Vick would throw the ball less times (good), the Falcons will have a normal passing attack when needed (good), and they would put defenses so off balance, they might score every single possession. Unfortunately it would be very confusing for the offense to learn, but I think it’s doable with two simple playbooks the size of one regular playbook. You all probably think I’m crazy, but it would work wonders for the Falcons and if Jim Mora could implement it effectively, he might be the most ingenious coach since, well, myself!
Final Score: Falcons 24, Redskins 16
Jets @ Packers, Sunday 1pm
I really though Brett Favre was going to pull out that game, being it was Monday night in the snow, a real Brett Favre type of game. Quote of the year might have been out of the ex-Man Show host Jimmy Kimmel. He said “Snow, Brett Favre, Monday Night. John Madden would love this if he was still alive” (or something to that effect). That was the funniest quote I’ve ever heard on MNF, as past history has either had Dennis Miller blathering in a 3rd language, or John Madden talking about things that don’t translate well into text (look up on YouTube the name Frank Caliendo and Madden impression). So, getting back to what matters, I’ve said in the past that the Jets aren’t going to lose to a poor team for the rest of the year. Therefore, I’ll eat my words again if I’m wrong, but I still can’t help but think back to how bad the Pack was against the Patriots. Because of that, I’m assuming their luck won’t improve against Mangenius.
Final Score: Jets 21, Packers 14
Lions @ Patriots, Sunday 1pm
Oh this is wonderful. The Lions really don’t need to play the Patriots. While they are up in Boston, they should probably play the Bentley Falcons D-II football team so they can get back in the win column. Yes, I was a little harsh on my Falcons, but the Lions might actually be able to beat them, considering that they are a PROFESSIONAL NFL TEAM. Gosh, they certainly haven’t seemed like it as of lately. And by lately, I mean the last 7 years of the post-Barry era. The Patriots aren’t the nicest matchup for the Lions, as one can assume, so I expect them to put up little fight. I’m betting on Tom Brady having a better game than Tony Romo against the Giants, so I’m starting him in fantasy this week. Hopefully, the Lions won’t embarrass themselves too badly like they did on Thanksgiving, because I am giving them a stunning 21 points in this game. Don’t worry Shaun, the Matt Millen era is drawing near and your suffering might be over sooner than you think. Stay strong buddy.
Final Score: Patriots 38, Lions 21
Vikings @ Bears, Sunday 1pm
This could be a tough matchup for the Bears O. Thomas Jones is Rex Grossman’s safety valve, and without him, Gross-man might have a QB rating of 33.7 on the season. Jones will most likely be neutralized for most of the game due to the Viking’s impressive run defense. Also, with the trash-talking of Rex that we all have heard about, I’d expect the Vikings to make some big plays on defense. The fact is though that I don’t think the Vikings can score on the Bears. Chester Taylor is the only player on the Vikings that the Bears should be concerned about, as they aren’t getting beaten through the air. The problem with Taylor is that he fumbles… a lot… and the Bears force and recover a lot of fumbles. I would expect a low scoring/defensive scoring game this weekend, but the Bears are just too ferocious to lose this one.
Final Score: Bears 17, Vikings 13
Jaguars @ Dolphins, Sunday 4:05pm
Well, the injury to Ronnie Brown really hurts my fantasy football team, and the Dolphins. Without him, the running game appears to have some serious insecurities. Not that Ronnie Brown has really been “good” all year, at least he’s still the starter who’s scored 5 TD’s this year. I still don’t like Joey “blue skies” Harrington because of his Lioness history. I also think the Jaguars are a good team as long as their defense shows up, which they will against a vulnerable Miami offense. Expect a low scoring, war of attrition affair.
Final Score: Jaguars 17, Dolphins 14
Texans @ Raiders, Sunday 4:05pm
A funny thing with Aaron Brooks is that he’s Michael Vick’s cousin. He’s essentially in a similar situation as well, as he appears to have a bunch of receivers that could care less (i.e. Randy Moss). As a traditionalist, I’d say that a wide receiver is a greedy and selfish animal in his own right. That’s the breed. It is the QB’s responsibility to manage their WRs. Without good leadership, a WR has no reason to care about anything but signing those checks. Therefore, Randy Moss, and I might be completely wrong for this example, needs someone to beat his butt up and down the football field at all times in order to be great. We all saw it with Daunte Culpepper back in the day… Wow, I can’t believe I just alluded to Culpuppy being a good leader (see Boat Cruise in Viking’s lore). Anyway, Aaron Brooks and Michael Vick both have that problem of being from the same leadership-less gene pool, and they will never succeed at the QB position. That being said, David Carr might not be a very good QB, but at least his WR Andre Johnson plays for him. Its another story with the offensive line I suppose, but Carr comes out on top on account of the principles I just covered.
Final Score: Texans 24, Raiders 14
Cowboys @ Giants, Sunday 4:15pm
Is Romo for real? Are the Giants being torn up from the inside? Perhaps Tiki’s premature retirement really was a distraction from the season. Well, I wouldn’t completely agree with that, but I do think that Tom Coughlin’s coaching style doesn’t work out very well with egotistical players, including Plax and Shockey. The Giants have an immensely talented football team, but they need more leadership out of Eli Manning to become as good as they can be. They are a playoff team, but I think that the Giants are getting upset in the opening week of the playoffs. The Cowboys are the hottest team in the NFL right now, and it looks like they will continue that trend as long as Romo stays with Jessica Simpson. When Nick Lachey broke up, everyone forgot about him. Let’s hope Romo doesn’t suffer the same fate.
Final Score: Cowboys 28, Giants 24
Buccaneers @ Steelers, Sunday 4:15pm
Man, the Steelers saw their season get attached to a cruise missile and fly to the moon. No more Steelers this year, how sad for a super bowl winner to fall so ungracefully. It’s kind of like watching a once-proud Olympian run one last race and getting attacked by a ravenous animal on the track. Just inexplicable, brutal, and wrong. Not that it really means anything, I’m still going to pick the Steelers to win this game against a poor Bucs squad.
Final Score: Steelers 27, Bucs 9
Seahawks @ Broncos, Sunday 8:15pm
Here’s a fun game to watch. The Seahawks are back at full strength and appear to be switching the Super Bowl loser curse by staying well coached and managed. It does help that they are in a terrible conference overall, but that’s not taking much away from the excellent management job done by Holmgren and company. Shaun Alexander should be able to run well against the Broncos as two other RBs in his realm were successful in games past. I don’t understand Shaun Alexander. He’s not fast, he’s not powerful, and he’s not elusive. He just doesn’t get tackled because of his wonderful offensive line and his patience. I think part of his patience is attributed to his slow speeds, as he can’t get to the line any faster, but then again I’m not an expert. He runs like he is on eggshells, which one of the reasons why I don’t like him as a runner, but he’s very effective nonetheless. He’s one of those smart players that I was harping about in blogs’ past. Meanwhile, Denver is falling fast out of the playoff race in the West. If the Chiefs and Chargers win, while the Bengals continue to play good football, Denver looks to be the team left out of the playoffs. It doesn’t help their cause by instituting a new QB in an established playoff contender, so I’m picking them to come up short of the playoffs. Seattle might be the smart pick here, but I’m thinking that Jay Cutler might follow the trend of rookie QB’s playing well in their first starts. He’s got a huge arm, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see a big play to Javon Walker, making it interesting. Why not go with my gut feeling instead of opting to analyze, and go with the Broncos in this one.
Final Score: Broncos 31, Seahawks 28
Panthers @ Eagles, Monday 8:30pm
This game looked awesome on paper a few weeks ago. Since then, the Panthers have proved to everyone they have schizophrenia, McNabb has been lost for another season, and both teams are at a crossroads. The good news for the Panthers is that you have to think they are heading in the opposite direction of the Garcia-led Eagles. Expect the Panthers D to show up again and play a dominant style of football to win this one easy.
Final Score: Panthers 21, Eagles 6
That’s all I got for this week. There are some funny videos on the internet, none better than the Lost Episode of Seinfeld. If anyone is seriously offended by the recent events of Michael Richards, you might not want to watch this, but it’s a pretty hilarious video which puts that incident into a false episode of Seinfeld. Check it out if you can stomach revisiting the Kramer incident. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHqUGCbdn08
Have a great weekend all!