It's 888 Miles to Chicago...
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Another week has come and gone...man, time flies when you're surfing porn.  Isn't that what the internet is for?  Oh, they have sports and email too...but come on, the internet was built and advanced by Porn.  I'll dive into this in more detail later...

What a great week of football...

Indy's soft underbelly was exposed again, this time it wasn't just exposed the Jags bent over and gave them a series of brumpskis (or raspberries if you prefer), and then decided on a round of Pink Belly as well.  Just a sound beating.

Devin Hester became not only my favorite player to watch...but seriously, I just expect him to score everytime he touches the ball.  After that first TD by the Rams, I was just sitting there, saying, "No worries, here comes Hester"...after which I explained to my Daughter how to signal a TD.

Rex looked a lot better this week...still not Montana-esque...but solidly in the Trent Dilfer with the Ravens area.  He did make some great throws, and actually took care of the ball really well.  Yes, I know the Rams are horrible Defensively, but hey, you have to take the small victories.

The Broncos continue to fall deeper into the pit of despair.  And I'm strangely very happy about it.

I've been dying to write a couple different posts about the Winter Meetings/MLB offseason (in particular the Garcia trade) and a post about my new favorite player...and I will...just been a busy time between work, a new side project, the holidays, and the little one...you get the picture.  I will find time to post about all those things and more, hopefully very soon.

After a horrible week last week, I'm bringing back the trained Chimp.  Yep, that's right, Mr. Peeps is back this week.  He'll be flinging poo at my picks this week, and making a mockery of the football community...so you can rest easy tonight Dennis.

Enough about all that, let's get to some frickin' FOOTBALL!!

San Francisco at Seattle

Everyone is saying that the Hawks are healthy and ready to be the "sleeper" in the Super Bowl mix in the NFC...there are 2 problems there...

The Hawks D looks like a pack of retarded chimps out there.  I mean, they have a hard time...

Whoa...sorry had to duck a speeding lamp throw by Mr. Peeps after the "retarded chimps" comment....

...anyway, the D isn't impressing me at all.  They beat the Broncos, which isn't looking all that tough right now, but then lose to the Cards?  The Niners already beat them once, if they come into Qwest and slap around this D some more, things could get ugly.

The other issue is Hasselbeck.  He's not looking like the Pro-Bowl, Best QB in the NFC that he was titled coming out of last season.  He's looked shaky after coming back from injury.  Maybe it's just rust, but he's not inspiring a lot of confidence right now.  You never know how players are going to respond coming off an injury...sometimes it takes them awhile to get back into the swing of things...

So what if the Niners do win this game?  All of a sudden, the NFC West is not such a slam dunk.  It's been assumed that the Hawks would waltz to the division crown...but after the Niners, the Hawks play the Chargers (loss) and assuming the Niners (Home against the Cards and at the struggling Broncos) can win out...the Hawks playoff lives would be hanging on the final week against Tampa.  And that's just nutty.

This is a huge game for both teams, and something the NFL network must be excited about...and it's scary to think that this game could cause an 8-8 division winner...but stranger things have happened.

Fantasy Alert:

Bench all players involved in the passing game for this one.  The weather is ugly out here.  Hard rain, plus winds of 40 mph with gusts to 65.  There will be no passing in this one.

Mr. Peeps is waving a big blue flag with the number 12 on it...obvious reference to the 12th man for the Hawks...so the Hawks take this one, because the home crowd won't let them lose.  But this is going to be a tight one...so hold onto your shorts....and it's going to be ugly and sloppy as well...special teams, D and running...old fashioned football!

Dallas at Atlanta

Okay, one of the most painful exchanges during MNF...

They spent the 4th quarter talking about who the favorite was in the NFC...Tony stated that since Dallas just crapped the bed against the Saints (my words not his) they couldn't be the favorite...then after they talked for about 15 minutes...he concluded by saying "I think if Dallas plays better next game, they have to be the favorites"....wait what?

The conversation was "who is the favorite right now"...Yes, going into the weekend, Dallas had the look of a team that was going to stream roll to the Super Bowl...but the Saints just ripped them apart.  If it was a close game, no worries...but it was a butt whooping.  It was just a painful exchange.

Meanwhile, the Falcons beat the HORRIBLE Bucs 17-6...not really a stellar showing.  And Dunn got injured...not good.  The Falcons are just a mess...but I think I was one week off in my prediction of them being knocked from the playoffs...

Mr. Peeps has got a Cowboy hat and lasso...and is apparently trying to lasso a Vick cut out...but even a card board cutout of Vick is too fast for him...oh good god, Mr. Peeps just jumped the cutout and is beating the living snot out of it....Cowboys win, and it looks like Vick might be in trouble...

NY Jets at Minnesota

The Jets, fighting for a playoff spot, go out and get killed by the Jauron-led Bills...not a good thing.  I mean it was such a big win that the Bills think they have a chance at the playoffs...sorry JP, you don't.  Mathmatically, yes, but realistically, no.

Meanwhile, the Vikes beat the Lions....whoopee-frickin' do.  Mr. Peeps could beat the Lions.  I would say something bad about Mr. Peeps, to further insult the Lions, but his savage beating of the Vick cutout has me a little scared.

Mr. Peeps is busy bludgeoning a replica Viking ship with a replica Boeing 787.  Let's just say, the Viking ship is looking a lot like Brad Johnson these days...sort of resembles what it once was, but I wouldn't want to count on it to get me where I wanted to go.  Jets roll, and get their playoff hopes back on track.

Washington at New Orleans

So who isn't, at least on some level, pulling for the Saints?  They lose both their starting WRs, their D is like a wet Brawny towel (strong enough to water, but it droops like crazy), their fans survived a terrible disaster, and MVP? Brees is coming off of shoulder surgery.  If the Bears get bounced from the playoffs...I'm jumping on the Saints bandwagon the rest of the way...but the Bears won't so let's just leave it at that.

Mr. Peeps is a huge Saints fan...at least this year...between you and me he's a huge bandwagon fan.  He's the guy that when the Rams got good out of no where, that "He was always a fan"...whatever.  Anyway, he's got on his Drew Brees jersey, and he's roasting a hog...so looks like he's picking the Saints.

Houston at New England

Well, we're on the final lap of the David Carr era...what a ride it's been...of course Carr spend most of the time on his back, I think he spent more time on his back than Anna Nicole Smith.

Anyway, Houston fans get to see 1 failed #1 picks time end, just as another is starting his reign of forgetful play.  Fantastic.  It's great to be a Houston fan!

While the Texans were busy getting beat up by VY, the Pats were getting beat up by the Phins...which brings up something of interest...

Everyone is talking about how this is a down year for the NFC and that the AFC is head and shoulders above it...is that really still true?  The Colts, everyone's darlings a month ago, have lost 3 out of the last 4.  The Pats have looked awful, the Broncos are trying their best to miss the playoffs, the Ravens play good one week, terrible the next, the Bengals have been on a tear but that D still has holes...it just seems like every team in the league has a lot of questions...except the Chargers...but we're not on their game yet.

Ah, that's a new one...Mr. Peeps is lying on the floor in his David Carr jersey (don't ask me where he gets the money for all these jerseys)...he's just lying there motionless, twitching every few minutes...I think he's recreating the David Carr era...He's taking the Pats in this one, as the Carr era ends with a whimper.

Pittsburgh at Carolina

This is a perfect matchup to sum up the type of season this has been...2 teams that had high hopes coming into this season...have looked awesome at moments...but mostly inept all year.  But for most of the season kept us thinking "they're going to turn in on any minute now..."

We gave up on the Steelers about a month or so ago...

And think the Panthers end came a couple weeks ago...that Eagles loss was devastating...

And then to top it off they got creamed by the G-men...ouch.

Oh, Crap, Mr. Peeps just broke out the Xbox 360 and Madden...he's lost for the next 10 hours.  He's been trying to repeat with the Steelers, and he's doing quit well (don't tell him I set it to Rookie level).  He's in the process of illegally hitting Steve Smith over and over again with Troy Palamalu.  I'm guessing he's picking the Steelers...as the Panthers go 0-Pennsylvania.

Tampa Bay at Chicago

Okay, so if you're a Bears fan...do you have your Hester jersey?  Is it more than fitting that the most electrifying player in recent Bears memory wears #23?  Is that just a natural fit in Chicago or what?

I caught part of Torry Holt on the "Best damn Sports Show" and he just went on and on about Hester.  I've always believed that one of the biggest compliments a player can get is props from another player...and Holt was really talkin' him up.  He said the key for the Bears was to get the ball into his hands as much as possible.  He suggested getting him some reps on O.  Can't say I disagree...but I don't want to over work the guy, remember, he's only a rook.  But man, he's fun to watch.  He's also stopped running backward the last few games, and I'm not scared when the ball is floating back to him, like I was early in the year...seems to be growing and learning as the season goes on.

Now onto the touchy subject of Rex...

He looked a lot better Monday.  Didn't turn the ball over, made that nice scramble....threw it away a few times...made some great throws...just seemed like a more relaxed Rex, and a better game plan.  I'm going to caution myself and the rest of us...it was the Rams, and it was only 1 game...but for one game, things looked better...so that's encouraging.

Mr. Peeps is still busy with Madden...Steve Smith just took his Umpteeth illegal hit from Troy...so I'll take this one.  Bears win easily, Rex looks solid again, and Hester makes us all jump out of our seat at least once...plus, Bears wrap up Home field advantage.

Cleveland at Baltimore

Did you know that there is a growing QB controversy in Cleveland?  Charlie Frye vs Derek Anderson...what?  Can you have a QB controversy when the majority of the NFL fans couldn't pick either guy or their name out of a lineup?  If I told people "I'm a big Derek Anderson fan" they would nod like they know what I'm talking about...and then look him up on the internet as soon as I walked away...Which would turn up the basketball player and an author before listing the NFL player...

Meanwhile, I believe the Ravens lock up the division with a win...

While engrossed in his game of Madden, Mr. Peeps reaches behind him...oh good lord...MR. PEEPS!!!  Damn, he just smeared poo on the wall.  Let me tell you that does not come out, Chimp poo is a pain to clean, while I track down the OxyClean, I'm going to make a guess that Mr. Peeps is saying the Browns will be smeared.  Ravens Roll.

Miami at Buffalo

The 2 AFC East upstarts...making trouble while going no where.  If you're a playoff team, you hate these guys...but this week they play each other, so that's nice.

Some how the Bills are winning despite the Jauron factor...maybe Jauron wasn't the problem in Chicago, maybe it was Shoop...nah.

And how are the Dolphins feeling after the rumors that Saban was seriously considering coaching Alabama?  I gotta say, if I was him, I would of taken the job.  Coaching at a big time University is way better than the NFL.  Once you win in College, you're a god.  In the NFL, you're just another head coach that will get fired at the first hint of trouble.

But Saban did the worst thing possible, he flirted with a job during the season...yuck.  I'm not saying his players are going to quit on him, but would play your butt off for a guy that is thinking about leaving?

What the hell are you doing Mr. Peeps?  Why in god's name are you making a Tuna sandwich?  Ah, I see, it's not "Dolphin-safe" tuna...wow, that is a real stretch Mr. Peeps...like a real stretch.  Bills pull off the minor shocker, and no one cares...but JP Losman continues to talk about how they have playoff chances...hahahahhaaa....

Detroit at Green Bay

Yuck.  Not sure how much I can say about this one...

Mr. Peeps concurs...he simple holds up a sign that says "Fire Millen".  Packers win, and no, this won't be a pretty game.

Jacksonville at Tennessee

One team making a late push for prime playoff position...

The other one making a prime push for next year.

Here's a little secret though, the Jags are TERRIBLE on the road.  And they seem to always come out flat after a big win.  They're playing good right now, but man, I don't trust them.

So does VY have a shot at Rookie of the year?  There are plenty of worthy canidadates this year, Colston was the run away leader, but is injured and will likely miss the rest of the season.  Bush is making a push right now...and Hester is having a record breaking season, even if he's ONLY a return man.  Meanwhile, VY has just led his team bad from the abyss, and given Tennessee hope for the future.  His stats are eye-popping...except when you look at the wins he's authored, and the fact that he seems to always come up big when it matters.  To me, this is something you always have to look at when drafting someone, especially a QB.  VY played at a major college, was in some of the most pressure packed games...and he ALWAYS rose to the challenge.  How can you not like the guy?

Anyway, I'm not sure about the ROY...my vote actually goes to Hester, but I'm baised...but VY definitely needs to be in the mix.

Not one to be terribly creative, Mr. Peeps keeps giving the "hook'em horns" sign...over and over...Okay, Mr. Peeps, we get it, VY wins another one...stop with the that...Titans roll, and everyone is confused again about this Jags team.

Denver at Arizona

Ah, whenever your team is on the skids, and sinking fast in the playoff race...a trip to Arizona always helps.

Not so fast there....

The Cards are starting to play a little ball.  And for some weird reason has rallied around Denny "Just Crown them already" Green.  Their run game is still going no where, but Leinart has the passing game clicking, and their D is doing enough to make them a little scary.

How long before Denver fans start wanting Plummer back?  Wouldn't it be great if the Broncos are losing this game at the half, and they stick Plummer out there and he rallies them, and then leads them to the playoffs...only to promptly lose in the first round.  Would Denver love the guy, or hate him still?  I would just laugh.  But man, the possibilities are just exciting.

Mr. Peeps has donned a USC jersey, and is wiping his feet on a Vanderbilt jersey...ah yes, the battle of the Rookie QBs.  This one goes to the Trojan, and the Broncos are going down faster than crack ho.

Philadelphia at NY Giants

Two teams sort of clinging to playoff hopes...but playing just good and bad enough to sort of thread water.

I'm kind of liking the whole Garcia comeback angle...what happens to McNabb's "street cred" in Philly if Garcia leads this same team to the playoffs?  Do the Philly fans start to doubt him?  Does Rush Limbaugh start to spout off again about him?  Do his WRs start to go TO on him?  It's all so interesting and exciting...we need Michelle Tafoya to cover this one...

Speaking of Michelle, ESPN.com gave her a column!!  "Tafoya's Take"...does anyone out there care what she thinks?  Seriously, she doesn't offer anything during the MNF broadcasts of interest, and I can't believe that reading an article by her is going to enlighten my views of football...and reading it...no it doesn't.  It's basically just a gossip column about the players.

Oh man, let the bickering begin...Mr. Peeps is watching Invincible...he's going with the Eagles...wow, the come back story, possible unrest in Philly, and melt downs in NYC...gotta love it.

St. Louis at Oakland

The Rams looked good in spurts against the Bears last week.  Their O can be really good at times, but the O-line is shaky, and they seem to fall apart at the wrong moments.  There were several drives where it was incomplete, incomplete; incomplete...which is not good.

The question is can the Raiders pass D hold the Rams down?  And does Stephen Jackson bust out against them?  And does anyone outside of St Louis or Oakland care?

The answers are: No, Yes, and No.

Mr. Peeps is pounding Bud Lights...oh good god, a drunk Monkey is not fun...I'm guessing he's picking the Rams...Bulger and the Rams take one from the Raiders.

Kansas City at San Diego

This is a great game...the 2 best RBs in the game right now facing off...there are several playoff implications as well.

San Diego is gunning for home field...a Charger win and Indy loss clinches that...I believe...

Kansas City is another one of those teams that is floating around the edge of the playoff race, and sorely needs a win to keep up with the other teams.

LT is one of those players you don't want to miss watching.  If you haven't seen him play yet this year, make sure to tune in for this one.  He's just simply amazing...always does something that just leaves you wondering "how?".

And then there's Shawn Merriman...he's another you really have to see to believe.  You hear his name all the time, and so you want to say "he's overrated"...but much like Urlacher, once you see him in a game, you realize why everyone is talking about him...he's always around the ball, always making plays, and he's always there making the play that is a "game-changer".

There it is...Mr. Peeps is holding up the MVP sign...yeah, gonna guess he's picking the Chargers...unless he's thinking Damon Huard for MVP?  OW!!  Okay, just got whacked by the MVP sign, so Chargers it is.  Depending on this next game, home field could be all locked up...

Cincinnati at Indianapolis

Let's see...

One team rolling...

One team sinking...

A month ago, the roles were reversed.  We were talking about how the Colts were "locks" to go undefeated.  Everyone was talking about how they couldn't see a way the Colts could lose.  The Bengals meanwhile couldn't buy a win.  They lost an epic shootout to the Chargers, and their D couldn't a 40 year-old virgin from scoring.

Oh how time flies...and things change...

Suddenly, the Colts D is just swiss cheese.  Any RB with a pulse can go for 100 yards on them.  Even Fred Taylor's groin can get 100.  And the O isn't picking up the slack for the D at all...only managing 17 points against the Jags.  And the Bengals meanwhile have surged, and are just running on all cylinders.

So which teams show up?  Do we get a shootout or what?

Well, I've got news for Indy...the Bengals have a damn good RB in Rudi Johnson...not good.

But I've got news for the Bengals, Manning and Co can throw the ball on anyone...especially your porous pass D.

Mr. Peeps has got 2 six-shooters, and matching holsters...he pulls the 2 guns, and starts firing...JESUS...Mr. Peeps...Damn it...crap, does anyone know how to get bullets out of the wall?  And should I use spackle to patch up bullet holes in the shape of an 85?  Ah, I get it...Mr. Peeps is saying the Bengals win a shoot out.  Should be a great game.

Well that's it...the weather here is just nuts...windy and super rainy.  Gotta get off the bus and haul my butt to work in a second...lovely!

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