FanNation - The Republic of Sport

Once upon a time I went to a basketball game. A Maryland Terrapins basketball game if we're getting really specific.

Technically, I've gone to basketball games more than once. I was, after all, a basketball cheerleader for one year for the D-III Washington College Shoremen, but since they haven't been a basketball powerhouse in over 50 years so I'm conveniently not counting it. Not that it matters whether or not I count it because, despite attending almost every home game for one season, I could not tell you the first thing about what was going on. My focus was on not messing up the cheers and on checking out who was in the stands, using my top-notch peripheral vision to make sure no tall, sweaty players were about to bowl me over.

So, because of my remarkable lack of attention at the games I'd seen, and because of the quality (or lack thereof) of the games themselves, the Maryland-Illinois game earlier this season was My First College Basketball Game.

It was an "I'll try it and see how I like it" deal, a "Sure, why not? It's something different" kind of thing. It was definitely different from the major sports with which I'm well-acquainted - football, baseball, softball, swimming. I'm not sure if I like it. I think it's difficult for me to like it when I don't have a clue what's going on.

It's taken a few years, but I can hold my own during football season, especially if we're talking college. But basketball? The things I know about basketball are hoop, buzzer, dunk, Michael Jordan, and...well, the list ends there.

It's not that I don't like basketball (although I really really really hate the way their shoes squeak on the floor); it's just that I've never given it any thought at all so when I finally did, it was like the episode of Newlyweds when Jessica Simpson goes camping. Except it was real life and it was me at a basketball game, but the "totally out of her element" bit was the same.

I don't like asking dumb questions and feeling like Basketball Barbie. I like knowing what I'm talking about, especially when it comes to sports.

But despite going to a game and paying very close attention, both to the game itself and to the crash course I got using ketchup packets as basketball players, I still don't really get it. I also don't understand why I can watch a football game and see the field and know what's happening or what should happen, but I feel like my eyes glaze over at basketball.

Last Saturday, when Maryland beat #1 North Carolina, I was at the local sports bar, sitting there silently, staring intently at the screen. I wanted to focus, I wanted to absorb what I was seeing and what I was hearing, I wanted to learn. All I really learned is that basketball games apparently cause a breakdown in communication between my eyes (watching the game) and my brain (comprehending the game).

I am a very intelligent girl, I know rules and penalties and plays in several other sports, and I usually learn pretty quickly. I felt like I kinda sorta knew what was happening in the last game I watched, and I didn't even have that many questions (although I've already forgotten the answers to the ones I did ask.)

It's hard to be patient when everyone around me is going nuts over the game, because I like to jump up and down and yell at the tv as much as the next person. It's just tough when you don't know when to yell or what to say.

I guess it took awhile to really pick up the nuances of football too, so maybe there's still hope for me where basketball is concerned. Or not. Those squeaky shoes can be really distracting.