Sports Yo Momm-entary
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I was watching a baseball game last night, when I couldn't help noticing something that disturbed me a little. And then when I looked up some info about it, it disturbed me more than a little.

Some of you younger fans might think that your favorite baseball players chew a lot of gum. And whenever you see them spitting, you might think that they're spitting out sunflower seeds. If that's you, stop reading.

I'm talking, of course, about chewing tobacco.

I want you to envision a baseball game where almost half of the players are smoking cigarettes in the outfield, infield, on the mound, in the dugout, in the bullpen, everywhere. Think about the uproar that would follow. Heads would roll. People would be ruined.

Chewing tobacco, however, doesn't blow smoke, so it's a safe alternative, right?

I wonder if all these idiot players and policy-makers know that chewing tobacco for 30 minutes is the equivalent, nicotine-wise, of smoking four cigarettes. Four. This means that if a player chews tobacco for an entire game, he may as well have smoked 24 marlboros. I wonder if they know that chewing tobacco includes arsenic, lead, formaldehyde, a special form of nuclear waste, and a type of car battery acid.

I wonder if they know that chewing tobacco will give them teeth uglier than the Oregon Ducks' yellow football jerseys, or breath that stinks worse than the Detroit Lions.

I doubt it. If they did, they wouldn't stand in front of millions of kids, chewing their lives away, spitting so much and so often that you'd think they get kissed by Donald Trump in between innings.

Somebody has to ban this crap from the MLB. It's awful. While there's no smoke involved in chewing tobacco, there certainly is a fire.

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