Wouldn't it be mind-bending if LeCramps James spasms up tonight twisting the Heat's NBA Title dreams up in a contortion of uncontrollable flames?

I'm concerned for LeCramps. Word is spreading in the doctor community that Le Chosen One developed during the last game won't be fully recovered in time for tonight's game.  That should give Erik Spasmstra brain, neck and stomach cramps throughout today.

Hoping The King is hurt is immoral and classless, I realize. But it's my only hope. LeCramps has been dominant during the Finals like Thor, Zeus, Pontius Pilot and Jay Z all wrapped into one. He's been formidable, better than Durant, better than everyone.

Give him credit. But don't ask me to root for him. And don't ask me to root for his side--kick either, Stephen A Smith. He and Magic Johnson together made one of the most outlandish criticisms ever levied against an NBA player when after Game 3 they said Russell Westbrook had the worst game for a point guard in the history of the NBA Finals.

Twenty-seven points Westbrook scored. Yes, he could have passed the ball more to Durant. But in many cases the Slender Sharp Shooter wasn't open because LeCramps was defending him as only the Chosen One could.

Stephen A wants the Heat to win because, I suspect, he is good friends with LeCramps and DFlop. The three roll through South Beach regularly, I imagine. But Stephen A.'s comments would not have been half as off the mark had he not said them after Magic had. Magic torched Westbrook with his words then Stephen A repeated them. Both times the comments sounded over the top and uttered more to get a reaction and draw attention to the person saying them to the level of insight they provided.

After Stephen A. echoed Magic, ESPN's Stuart Scott pressed him by asking "why"?

"Because Magic Johnson, the greatest point guard in NBA history, said so," said Stephen Say Anything Every Day for Pay.

He pointed to another much more popular guy than himself for cover. Clever move, fast thinking on his feet. But he knew he couldn't stand behind his remark. He realized he had been caught playing his game, saying things to grab the spotlight no matter how harshly critical and, frankly, incorrect.

Stephen A. gives me head cramps. At least LeCramps can play ball; something tells me Say Anything Every Day for Pay can't. I can see him on the playgrounds growing up pulling up limp when the going got tough, complaining of leg cramps.

I expect the Heat to spasm up tonight and Stephen A. to do the same in his post-game commentary.