I'm trending on Twitter right now all over the world. Feels cool, like I'm Justin Bieber.

Trending-it's a new trendy word. Trend has been a noun for a million years. Trending has been a word for about a year. And it's a verb. Some trending, isn't it?

Facebooking-another new word. So is friending. Both nouns a year ago, now verbs as in "ninety million people have friended me on Facebook."

Man am I friending.

Not really. None of this is true.

I know some people in my hometown of Bernardsville, New Jersey and they know me. We don't trend or Twitter or Facebook with each other about local high school sports or whatever. No need. It's a small town. In an old school American town, we are old school communicators living the dream. Social media is for kids, hipsters, cool people. As adults, the only thing we're trending is older.

Sometimes we email. But my kids tell me email is pointless, a modern day dinosaur. Anyone in their kid circles who sends email is uncool, unfriended (another new word). If you say email, you get unfollowed (not really a word but in social media realms it passes the test). They Tweet, Facebook, and text. Texting, by the way, is becoming really old school. What's next? I have no idea.

As the school year begins and the Fall season approaches-times of re-commitment-- one thing's for sure: I will be Tweeting more. It was my New Year's resolution. Not really but it sounds good.

In the coming days and months I'm considering Tweeting something clueless about the Bernardsville Town Council. I might attend the group's monthly meeting and Tweet a few times about my overall impressions. I might Tweet about the Bernardsville News editorial coverage. Maybe I'll Tweet about the Bernardsville Food Store, my favorite restaurant, while cognizant that this may not be well received. I'm told too many people Tweet about what they're going to eat, are eating, or want to eat. Maybe I'll Tweet about food but in a differentiating, value-added fashion, leaving all the gory details out.

Maybe I'll Tweet about the Bernardsville zoning laws, those esoteridc ones focused on which houses and office buildings should and should not be built and why. In my Tweet the "why" will likely be absent because that takes explaining and Tweets must be 140 characters or less. Pretty arbitrary, 140 characters, isn't it? Why not 240 or 540 or 10,040? One hundred and forty characters doesn't leave time for much else besides a mind blurt. Elaboration, contextual back grounding and full-blown analysis stand tall as enemies of Twitter. To me that's a little sad although in the grand scheme of things not a real big deal.

In the world of technology I've never been accused of being an early adopter. This hurts my feelings. I'm always behind the curve. To be honest, I'm insecure about this but that's my issue (well one of many). Even though almost every man, woman and child in this town-and every town in America--probably does or will within six months own an iPhone when the iPhone 5 hits the streets, I still don't. I want that smoking hot device but probably won't get it for at least three or four years. Probably never. Why? Simple explanation: Technology is intuitive and I'm counter-intuitive. Technology and I are misfits, polar opposites, night and day. Only when I'm forced do I succumb. In the case of Twitter, I've been summoned at work to make it my favorite thing in the world. Or else get another job.

In my house we have an ongoing discussion about how I am never up on the latest and greatest in pop culture, anything timely, hot, relevant and Kardashian. Once I hear what I sense is a new hit song I ask my kids if it's a new one. "Two years old," they always say. Never do I impress them by being ahead of the curve, telling them about something they don't already know. They're playing a mind game with me; it's not the first between my children and me.

They want me to believe I'm yesterday's news. To them, and all of you, I chirp: Tweak, Tweak.

Comment #1 has been removed
August 23, 2012  03:27 PM ET

Not much other than the reference to high school sports. Once in awhile I post something non-sports related. Curious: did you enjoy the read or just wonder the whole time why it wasn't about sports?


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