I would like to see the Washington Wizards win the NBA championship in 2013. For thirty years they have been the worst NBA franchise, arguably, in close contention with the LA Clippers. But the Clips have won 16 straight while the Wizards have probably lost 16 straight. Who really knows or is paying attention? If there is one team you don't need to stress about in terms of how they might end up performing in a given season, it's the Wiz. You can count on their haplessness like an occasional phone call in the middle of the night if you're an obstetrician.
If the Wiz got on a run, started whipping Bron, DWade, Kobe, and KD (Durant), and went on to cut the nets and hoist the Larry Brown trophy in June 2013, it would be the most shocking sports story in American history. Yes, I said it, I meant it and I'm here to represent it.
I would also like to see Tiger not win any majors. This streak he's on of not winning majors has been a joyride for pretty much everyone except maybe him and his mother. Watching him sweat and toil and not be the best is satisfying sports theater. Any guy who did what he did, cheated massively on his wife and lied about it, deserves to be rooted against.
In college hoops, I hope that Coach K announces his retirement. Let's all be totally honest: We're tired of this guy winning all the time and then acting like he's not all about winning. He is all about winning. He wins too much, is too successful, does everything so well. He makes it hard for the rest of us to feel like worthy human beings by comparison. He makes us all feel inferior, as if whatever skill or craft we pursue we don't do it as well as he coaches basketball. We don't need so many people feeling so bad about themselves any longer. K needs to give us all a break and get out.
Norv Turner should be an even bigger football figure in 2013 than he has been in his illustrious 20 year career coaching in the NFL. Roger Goddell should offer him a $10 million a year salary to spearhead the league's public relations programs. With all the bad PR about concussions, bounty-gate, and Emdonicon (no way I spelled this right) Su's anger issues, the league needs to improve its public image. Norv would be just the right guy for that. A smooth talker, a positive influence, sharp on his feet.
While on the subject of charismatic NFL coaches. I would vote for Rex Ryan and Mark Sanchez to both get new, five year contract extensions each valued at $15 per year. Ratings for "Entertainment Tonight" have plummeted these past few years because ratings for all things Jets have skyrocketed. This is not a football team. It's high-stakes high-Family Circus, Shakespearean comedy, a big bad but beautiful boat sink.
There is one guy you really should watch in 2013 and I hope to see a lot more of: Tim Tebow. This season he's been massively underexposed being the second string quarterback with the Jets. He needs to be more in our faces this year, more a day to day distraction. Living in the New York area I didn't hear much about him this season, couldn't find anyone on the radio who would even bring his name up.
In 2013 I would like to see Chip Kelly get hired to coach in the NFL so he could turn loose his zany offense that he created at Oregon about ten-fold on NFL defenses. I want to see his team run plays much faster than the every-eight-seconds they did during his torrid tenure at Oregon. I want the average up to every four seconds. I want it to be so hard to follow what Oregon's offensive is doing that it gives the collective world pause, even people in New Zealand who can't get the games even on Direct TV.
I hope to see more team videos made to pop songs in 2013. Wouldn't it be rad if the Mixed Martial Arts kick boxer dudes did a "Call Me Maybe" video? They could have Carly Rae Jepson (or whatever her name is) kick each one in the face. That would be intense. At the end of the video she would sing: "This is crazy. Call me Maybe." The lyrics and video would sync like Lance Bass and those teen chumps who formed the band Insync or was it Insink or Nowsunk?
2013 will be a great year for the X Games, as usual. Sean White will throw down the Half Moon Under Triple Pike for us once again, dude, and win the event after we watch his commercials about tomato hair dye and skateboarding wrist tape. Most people don't know it, but the best sports play by play guy on the planet is the guy who does the X Games with the cool dreadlocks, Sal Masekela. Sal doesn't care who wins any of the X Game events; no one does, not even the competitors. Sal only cares that he acts cool and that the athletes do cool tricks. You want to talk about a relaxing night of TV entertainment. It's the X Games with Sal Masekela.