stevekay's Blog
Views
911
Comments
5

2013 SUPER BOWL (47) XLVII ROSTERS

NFC   SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

OFFENSE

QB--COLIN "CARD" KAEPERNICK-HE SERVED NOTICE WHEN HE DROPPED 181 YDS RUSHING ON GB

QB-ALEX "EX" SMITH-RECEIVED  A VISIT FROM SCROOGE THIS PAST SEASON.

RB--"OPEN, HONEST &" FRANK GORE-THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE...TO THE ENDZONE.

RB--LaMICHAEL "KING"JAMES---HE ISN'T MATTHEW, MARK, LUKE OR JOHN, BUT HE IS A REVELATION!

RB-KENDALL "FIRE" HUNTER-THE PERFECT E-READER FOR THE HD GAME.

FB--BRUCE MILLER "BEER"-LIVING THE ???HIGH LIFE'."

WR--"PEAT, GROUND &" RANDY MOSS---THIS ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO MOSS.

WR--MICHAEL "KING" CRABTREE-CRABS REALLY DO GROW ON TREES!

WR-"SUPER" MARIO MANNINGHAM--- PASS NINTENDO FOR MANNINGHAM.

TE--VERNON "UC" DAVIS-NEXT TIME YOU'LL SEE DAVIS IS ON THE WINNERS PODIUM.

LT--JOE "TO INSURE FRESHNESS USE BY 2-3-13, OR HE WILL GET" STALEY-HE'S FRESH, NEVER FROZEN!

LG--MIKE "DO YOU HAVE TO USE THE" IUPATI---WHAT DO YOU SAY TO YOUR KID BEFORE A LONG TRIP?

LG-JOE LOONEY "TUNES"-THAAT'S ALL FOLKS! WE WIN!

C--JOHNATHAN "BETTER LUCKY THAN" GOODWIN-THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A ???BAD' WIN.

C-DAVID "BLOOD, GUTS &" KILGORE-THIS CENTER IS RATED R AND CONTAINS ???VIOLENCE'.

RG--ALEX "ACE" BOONE -KAPERNICK'S RIGHT HAND MAN.

RT-ANTHONY DAVIS "CUP"-AND THE 49er GOD SAID, "YOUR CUP SHALL RUNNETH OVER."

DEFENSE

NT--ISAAC " I" SOPOAGA-SOMETIMES YOU DO AND SOMETIMES YOU DON'T.

LDT--RAY "RONALD" McDONALD---YOU WON'T FIND HIM ON THE DOLLAR MENU, HE EATS THE MENU!

RDT-JUSTIN "EMERGENCY" SMITH---IN CASE OF SUPER BOWL, HOLD UPRIGHT, PULL PIN & AIM AT QB!

RDT-RICKY "BLUE" JEAN FRANCOIS---NOTHING COMES BETWEEN HIM AND THE GOAL LINE!

LOLB-AHMAD "MAN IS IN LURKING IN OUR MIDST" BROOKS---BEWARE OF THE SACKMAN!

LOLB-CLARK "BAR" HAGGANS-- SMOOTH LIKE CHOCOLATE AND HITS LIKE A PEANUT BUTTER CRUNCH

LILB-"YESTERDAY, TODAY &" NOVORRO BOWMAN-THE TIME IS NOW!

RILB-PATRICK WILLIS "WIN?" ---THE MAGIC 8 BALL SAYS SIGNS POINT TO YES!

RILB-TAVARES GOODEN "PLENTY"-JIM SAYS, LOVE MY GOOD AND PLENTY!

ROLB-"STICK A FORK IN THEM, THEY'RE" ALDON SMITH-- NO LEFTOVERS HERE!

CB-CARLOS "MISTER" ROGERS-WELCOME TO HIS NEIGHBORHOOD!

SS-DONTE' "SPRING, SUMMER, FALL &" WHITNER-WELCOME TO HIS WINTER WONDERLAND!

FS--"1/2 CUP OIL, TABLESPOON OF SUGAR &" DASHON GOLDSON-THE RECEIPIE FOR AN INTERCEPTION!

CB-TARELL "BEIGE, TAN &" BROWN-HE POSSESSES A GREAT COLOR SCHEME.

CB--"DIE, EXPIRE &" PERRISH COX---THEY CALL HIM THE UNDERTAKER!

SPECIAL TEAMS

P--ANDY LEE "WARD"-LEADS THE LEAGUE IN DOWNWIND' PUNTS.

K-DAVID AKERS "& PAINS"---THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MISS FIELD GOALS!

KR/PR-TED GINN "MARTINI---HE'S BETTER SHAKEN THAN STIRRED.

LS-BRIAN "JEOPARDY!" JENNINGS---THE ALL-TIME LEADING SNAPPER IN NFL HISTORY!

 

AFC   BALTIMORE RAVENS

OFFENSE

QB-- JOE "CHAMPIONSHIP" FLACCO -- THE SUPER BOWL FLACCO WILL BE RAISED WHEN RAVENS WIN!

RB-- RAY RICE "A RONI"--- THE BALTIMORE RAVENS TREAT!

RB -- BERNARD "PENETRATE, PERFORATE &" PIERCE --- SLICING AND DICING THRU THE 49ERS DEFENSE.

FB-- VONTA "REMOVE, WITHDRAW &" LEACH ---- HE'S GOING TO SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF THE 49ERS.

WR-- TORREY "TORA, TORA, TORA" SMITH --- HE'LL ATTACK JUST LIKE A WWII KAMIKAZE PILOT.

WR--ANQUAN "HOT, SPICY &" BOLDEN ---- IF YOU CANNOT STAND THE HEAT, GET OFF THE FIELD!

TE--ED DICKSON "BEFORE HE **** YOU" --- NICE GUYS FINISH LAST.

TE-- DENNIS "CHERRY" PITTA --- LIFE IS A BOWL OF CHERRIES WITH PITTA AT TE.

LT--BRYANT McKINNIE "CAT" --- HE'S NO ORDINARY HOUSE CAT.

LG--KELECHI  "FOUL,FUNKY &" OSEMELE--- ONE WHIFF OF THIS LG, AND YOU'LL KNOW HE'S GOOD!

C--MATT BIRK "IN-STOCK" --- WHEN HE RETIRES, HE'LL LEAVE SOME REALLY BIG SHOES TO FILL.

RG--MARSHALL YANDA "BEAR" --- THIS BEAR IS A MAULER.

RT--MICHAEL "IRON" OHER--- DON'T BE BLINDSIDED--A MAN OF STEEL, A HEART OF GOLD.

 

DEFENSE

DT--HALOTI "ZERO, ZIP" NGATA--- YOU WILL GET NOTHING AND LIKE IT!

NT--"MANUFACTURE, PRODUCE &" MA'AKE  KEMOEATU-MADE IN TONGA, ASSEMBLED IN THE USA.

DE--ARTHUR "KEEPING UP WITH THE" JONES'---HE CAN BE EMULATED, BUT NEVER DUPLICATED.

DE-PERNELL "McFINE, McCOST &" McPHEE-HE WILL MAKE YOU PAY!

DE-BRYAN HALL "PASS"-NEED THE RESTROOM? SEE MIKE IUPATI

RUSH--TERRELL "FIZZ, FOAM &" SUGGS---RUN INTO HIM AND HE'LL CLEAN YOUR CLOCK!

WILL-DANELL "FLOATS LIKE A BUTTERFLY AND STINGS LIKE AN" ELLERBE-BEE-WARE!

MIKE-"STING" RAY LEWIS-HAS BEEN KNOWN TO CAUSE ANAPHELITIC SHOCK IN OPPOSING QB'S

LB-JAMEEL "McMOAN, McGROAN &" McLAIN--- NO CRYING GAME HERE!

LB-"WOO, ROMANCE, SOLICIT &" COURTNEY UPSHAW-- HEMAKE S ALL THE RIGHT INTRODUCTIONS!

LB-- PAUL "FREDDY" KRUGER-FREDDY IS COMING FOR YOU!

LB-JOSH "ATTATCHES, TIES &" BYNES-WRAPS HOLIDAY PACKAGES IN THE OFF SEASON!

LCB-COREY "BILLY" GRAHAM-FROM THE PULPIT HE PREACHES DEFENSE, DEFENSE, DEFENSE.

SS-"SAINT" BERNARD POLLARD-THIS SAFETY CAN HUNT.

FS-ED "WRITING, ARITHMATIC &" REED---ONE OF THE NFL'S MOST ASTUTE PLAYERS.

FS-SEAN "FINE" CONSIDINE-THE DEFINITION OF ELEGANT EATING!

RCB-"TRANSMIT, TRANSPORT &" CARY WILLIAMS-DELIVERS LIKE A UPS TRUCK!

CB-"HOT & SEXY" CHYKIE BROWN--- HE'S HARBAUGH'S SECRET!

SPECIAL TEAMS

P-SAM "HOME" KOCH-IN-HE HAS THE RECEPIE FOR A KICKING SUCCESS!

K--JUSTIN "SIDE THE UPRIGHTS" TUCKER---IT'S UP, IT'S GOOD!

KR/PR-"OBIE WON" JACOBY JONES-THE FORCE IS WITH HIM!

LS-"CAPTAIN" MORGAN COX-HE'S GOT A LITTLE SNAPPER IN HIM!

COPYRIGHT 2013 STEVE KAY



 



January 29, 2013  03:44 PM ET

What do you think? Please keep the comments clean. Thanks, and I hope your team wins the Super Bowl!

Comment #2 has been removed
January 30, 2013  07:00 PM ET

I think this sucks

January 30, 2013  10:44 PM ET

My team's not in this Super Bowl, Steve. What you probably meant was that you "hope (my) team wins the SB (sometime this century)." It's possible, not likely, but possible.

Pretty creative list. I could see "Boomer" mouthing a few 'em: "Saint Bernard Pollard - this safety can hunt; Arthur keeping up with the jones'; Matt Birk in-stock, when he retires he'll leave some real big shoes to fill; Ray Rice a-roni the baltimore ravens treat; Joe to insure freshness use by 2-3-13 or he will get Staley;" AND "Ted Ginn martini he's better shaken than stirred (don't get it but funny).

 
Comment #5 has been removed

Comment

Remember to keep your posts clean. Profanity will get filtered, and offensive comments will be removed.


Start Your Own Blog

Start Now

Truth & Rumors

MOST POPULAR

  1. 1
    D'Antoni's newest 'blunder'
    Views
    1953
    Comments
    865
  2. 2
    Baseball's top 2015 free agent
    Views
    1844
    Comments
    527
  3. 3
    The NHL's model franchise?
    Views
    1929
    Comments
    136
  4. 4
    Cup drought weighing on Sid
    Views
    2230
    Comments
    106
  5. 5
    Smith won't play for San Fran in 2014
    Views
    3552
    Comments
    63

SI.com

SI Photos