Views
1068
Comments
0

The devil went down to New Orleans,

He was looking for a soul to steal.

He was in a bind, he was way behind,

Then he remembered the Ray Lewis deal.

He didn't know Ray was in the Super Bowl,

He hadn't kept up that well.

But he knew one thing for damn-well sure,

Ol' Ray was goin' to hell.

Ray had signed in blood without a thought

Of when the reaper would call.

All he knew was he needed a way to escape

The long, nosy arm of the law.

It was 2013 and the Ravens were rolling,

They returned a deep kick one-oh-eight,

When Jim Nantz's voice went dead on the air

And the devil seized Lewis's fate.

Mephistopheles had an ace up his sleeve:

The Katrina survivors wanted vengeance.

"Cut the lines!" he commanded, and the ones who'd been stranded

At the Superdome jumped at the chance.

The lights went out; the delay seemed unending,

Then the Niners went postal, yes, medieval.

It looked like the devil would indeed have his day,

Then God said, "Hell, no, this ****'s evil."

He stepped in for the Ravens, as the devil slunk off,

And Ray Lewis crossed himself yet again.

"All the glory to God," he said after the game,

And he winked and God winked and Amen. 
 

By Sonny Bohanan

Fort Worth, Texas

Comment

Remember to keep your posts clean. Profanity will get filtered, and offensive comments will be removed.


Start Your Own Blog

Start Now

Truth & Rumors

MOST POPULAR

  1. 1
    Tuukka Rask takes blame for Bruins' Game 1 loss
    Views
    1733
    Comments
    227
  2. 2
    Smush Parker allegedly punches high schooler
    Views
    1419
    Comments
    136
  3. 3
    Joel Quenneville's Midnight Hawk favored to win Illinois Derby
    Views
    375
    Comments
    86
  4. 4
    Quarterback freefalling down draft boards
    Views
    4760
    Comments
    77
  5. 5
    Oklahoma State pays Peyton Manning $105K for speech
    Views
    469
    Comments
    25

SI.com

SI Photos