Fret not. You're basically right. It really is all kind of a blur. Sixty-four teams including some squad from South Dakota State. Geez. During the next few weeks you will soak in March Madness like everyone else in America. There will be faces you've never seen before, colleges you almost never hear about. Don't worry. I've come to your rescue by appending some nationally embraced and well-established  nicknames to some faces of players in this year's tournament.  Eleven NCAA Men's Basketball Steering Committees have signed off on these.  Circulate as you wish.

• Junior "Mint" Cadougan (Marquette)
• Vander Blue "Moon Odom" (Marquette)
• Seth "Feed" Curry (Duke)
• Scott "Wood" Chucker (NC State)
• Trey "Three Point" Burke (Michigan)
• Cody "Red" Zeller (Indiana)
• John "John" Stockton, Jr. (Gonzaga)
• Glen "Twice" Rice, Jr. (Michigan)
• Doug "McDonalds All" McDermott (Creighton)
• Mason "Brick" Plumlee (Duke)
• Victor "The Great" Oladipo (Indiana)
• Shane "Barry" Larkin (Miami)
• Raphael "Spell" Akpjejiori (Miami)
• Julian "Oscar" Gamble (Miami)
• Matt "Abbot" Costello (Michigan State)
• Denzel "Washington" Valentine (Michigan State)
• Keenan "Pretzel" Wetzel (Michigan State)
• Sam "Brooklyn"Dekker (Wisconsin)
• Zack "Buck" Showalter (Wisconsin)
• JD "Court" Wise (Wisconsin)
• Kelly "Green" Olynyk (Gonzaga)
• Michael "Gary" Hart (Gonzaga)
• Drew "Circus" Barnum (Gonzaga)
• Larry "Boo Hoo" Drew III (UCLA)
• Adria "Pau" Gasol (UCLA)
• Tony "Spur" Parker (UCLA)
• David "Under" Wear (UCLA)
• Cleantony "Very" Early (Wichita State)
• Zach "George" Bush (Wichita State)
• Carl "Ball" Hall (Wichita State)
• Fred "Fleet" Van Vleet (Wichita State)
• Ron "Seth" Curry (James Madison)
• Christian "Ear" Pierce (James Madison)
• Adre "Sports" Nation (James Madison)
• Jordan "Lenny" Dykstra (South Dakota State)
• Taevaunn "Tayshaun" Prince (South Dakota State)