The verdict is in on all baseball umpires: they want to eat food above all else. This is their overriding concern when making "safe" or "out" calls.
I reached this conclusion after watching my son play in over 250 baseball games over the past nine years at the Little League and now high school levels.
Without fail, when a batter runs to first base and the ball flies towards the first baseman, umpires invariably call the runner out. Before the ball arrives, they know they will make this call. They're already forming the word "out" with their lips and getting ready to holler "out" with fake conviction. The moment they wake up in the morning, they know it also. This is all premeditated and calculated. They are dead wrong. Everybody watching can see the runner was safe. Still, umpires always call the runner out. They don't do this because they believe the runner was out. They do it because they want the game to end so they can go eat food somewhere.
They get paid by the game, not how long it takes. They have a personal agenda to end the game sooner rather than later. They have the power to call baser runners out and no one can change their calls. I have seen them get these calls wrong every time it's close and even when the runner is clearly safe by a step. If you are a base runner and it is going to be close play at first, you might as well stop running and head to the dugout. You're toast.
Umpires don't care about anyone's feelings. They don't care what you think of them. They don't care if they're right. They don't care if parents scream at them that their runner was safe. They don't care if coaches chew them out six inches from their face. All that matters to them is the aroma near the field at the snack shack. Greasy fries and frankfurters billow up their nostrils telling their brains they need to eat grub. They're distracted.
Being the dictators of diamond, they want to go out to McDonalds or Wendy's. Or maybe they have some TV dinners stocked away in their freezers they've been fantasizing about all through the baseball game. Or maybe their wives have cooked them a meal and she's waiting for him to return home so she can wait on him and take off his cleats and slip on his slippers. This is not likely, however, because we're living in progressive times.
These umps are complicit in compromising the integrity of the sport, America's past-time. To them, America's past-time is a childhood farce. They're getting their fill. Because they do what they do, kids learn that making the wrong call can stand, that being wrong and incompetent passes in this world. They learn that people put themselves before others. They learn about selfish agendas and the art of cutting corners for personal gain. They learn that food trumps truth. They learn that adults love to eat more than they love kids.
Never mind their credibility. Never mind the kids don't get to learn to play by the rules. Never mind fairness. Never mind loftier ambitions. Never mind how much weight they need to lose.
Just get to the food court and eat--even if you have to cheat.