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My Whole Life Rides on the Knee of RG3

I have a desire. No big deal. Everybody has desires. But this one reigns supreme, gnaws at my noggin. I want the Redskins to win the Super Bowl this season.

I am not asking for anything more than that and no less. Give me the Lombardi Trophy. Let me caress it with my supple hands. Open my phone lines to all the New York Giants fans I would call after we won it all. It would be the fourth in Redskin history, the first of several for RG3. Glory would become a pattern.

My boy has been in the news the past several days supposedly for disagreeing with how much playing time Coach Mike Shanahan will allow him during preseason practices. Leave him out. I don't care if RG3 doesn't play the first five regular season games. I only care that he's calling signals in December when the games have playoff and Super Bowl relevance. As far as I'm concerned, he can lie on his couch and eat oatmeal from now until November 1st. Protect the guy's knee. Do it for me. Do it for history.

No one will remember what he did in August, September and October. All that matters is going to the Super Bowl and winning it. If RG3 does that, I'll write a few hundred blogs about him. You will be mildly pleased to read them. You will be drawn in to my obsession. But you will wish I had a hobby or at least wonder if I did. You will feel sheepish about reading my writing about this superstar QB. You will wonder why I keep writing about him and no one else. You will wish that I would change my ways but I won't. It won't be about you; it will be about Robert Griffin The Third and my feelings for him.

I like him more than red licorice and Tostitos dipped in Salsa. I like him more than myself. I like more than watching TV. I like him more than Disney World. I like him more than Bruce Springsteen, Rocky Balboa, Jimmy Fallon, Kate Upton, my first girlfriend, apple pie with ice cream, caramelized onions on medium well burgers, and sunshine on my shoulders.

Robert is my life, my sustenance, my fortification, and my oxygen. He keeps me awake and allows me to sleep without having nightmares. He is the syrup on my pancakes, the ham in my scrambled eggs, the paint on my face.

This is not hero worship. It's something far more intense than that. He is my reason for living, the prime motivation for putting one foot in front of the other. He is a creature of high relevance, a guy beyond all other guys, a man beyond all other men, a dude of the highest order, a man bigger than all of us.

In my entire life there is no one I have put more trust in to bring Super Bowl glory to my Skins more than RG3. I feel it in my stomach that he has this ability in him. I feel one day he'll lift me into the sky on an air balloon and allow me to float around aimlessly, happily.

This is the guy. This is the ballplayer. This is the QB.

He is for me. He is RG3.

 

 

August 15, 2013  09:05 PM ET

I like the way you write words.

 
August 15, 2013  09:08 PM ET

This here is what blogs are all about.

Words that amuse me. With their cleverness. You sir, have the clever. A good bad case of it. Alive in your arteries. And flaking from your scalp.

I have nothing more to say other than that this is good stuff.

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