Deion Sanders. He was faster than the Google search engine but almost never made a tackle even though he played a position, defensive back, where such opportunities were plentiful. He ran away from the game of football for more than a decade, intercepting passes and then sprinting afar so no one would touch him. Squirting down the sidelines on kick-off returns away from the fray. He played his personal plutonic game of 7 on 7 touch football while the rest engaged in hitting and tackling and got away with it. I was a tougher football player than he was and some gridironers said-I suspect--that I was a lame patty cake.
Rolf Benirschke. Liesl's boyfriend in the Sound of Music-you know, the guy who turned on the entire Captain Von Trapp clan and we wish he hadn't-was named Rolf. Strike one against this field goal kicker for the San Diego Chargers in the 1980s. He is the only guy in the ~75 year history of the league named Rolf. If there was one other guy named Rolf-I can't be sure nor can you--he got cut before playing a down because his coach refused to have a guy named Rolf on his NFL roster. His name would be enough to qualify Rolf as one of the league's all-time cream puffs. The fact that he hosted NBC's Daytime Wheel of Fortune series in 1989 clinches his fate. I might add that that scene in "The Sound of Music" when Rolf and Liesl sang "I Am Sixteen Going on Seventeen" to each other was, while melodic and memorable and quite romantic, pretty much cream puff city.
Brian Bosworth. You could take the top and bottom halves of a chocolate éclair (not to be confused with Eau Claire, Wisconsin), insert between them The Boz's shock of mulleted blond horse-tail hair he wore under his helmet, and you would have an appealing-looking cream puff. Herschel Walker settled this issue that time he went around left end seeking to find The Boz roaming to make the tackle instead of trying to avoid him to score the touchdown, he fired straight for the Blonde Boy Wonder. Boz shouldn't have gotten involved in that confrontation if for no other reason than Walker, until that time, had done more push-ups than anyone his age. Another reason is The Boz talked a big game about himself and had trouble backing it up in the NFL. At the collision site, Boz got pummeled and fell down as Walker scored a touchdown standing up. NFL lore regards that play as the Bombing Out of The Boz.
Keith Olbermann. When guys leave ESPN because they think they're got more intelligence to offer the world, more talent than a Sports Center anchor, they are automatically suspect. In recent years this guy broadened his horizons as a bombastic political talk show host on MSNBC and bombed out. My guess is it had something to do with the audience not enjoying the feeling they got watching him. He came across as if was the most witty, clever and intellectually gifted person this world has ever seen. As it turned out, the audience found him to be a cream puff and he got fired. So he's now back at ESPN and will turn off people with his high and mighty comments about the NFL. This guy is beyond a cream puff; he's asparagus.
Carroll Rosenbloom. Any NFL guy-he owned the Los Angeles Rams-with the name Carroll belongs on a cream puff list.