One: NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell won't change his hair color. Is there anyone you know who at his age, 54, who still has what appears to be legitimate blonde hair? Almost every guy I know his age either has gray hair or almost none. This guy has high school quarterback hair, you know the one who dates the gorgeous Homecoming Queen and doesn't have to study very hard because teachers give him good grades because he's the quarterback. In a sport so ugly, it's ironic the Commissioner looks so un-football-like.
Two: Famed singer and dancer Mylie Cyrus will not be the featured attraction at the Super Bowl half-time show.
Three: Jim Harbaugh, the 49ers head coach, won't go to any anger management classes even though he will be advised that he should after his team loses a game and he blows up. But he will decide he's smarter than anyone teaching such a class and that being angry a lot makes his teams win more often. No one will disagree with his rationale.
Four: The Jets cheerleaders will not date any of the Jets players because they won't want to hang around losers. Women like guys who win.
Five: Although rumors will swirl that Nick Saban will become a savior-like NFL coach next season, he will post a Tweet saying he wants to "win more consecutive NCAA Division I football championships than #anycoach in history." This will be his mission and he will not stop screaming and freaking out his players until he achieves his goal.
Six: Dallas Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo will not lead his team to the Super Bowl despite being the league's most overpaid player. He will not win a playoff game yet owner Jerry Jones will not lose faith in him.
Seven: Neither Fox nor CBS will televise any of the Panthers and Browns games.
Eight: No one will know the names of any of the New England Patriots running backs. No will care either. The only other offensive player they will know will be Rob Gronkowski. But no one will know whether he will be playing week to week because no one will understand how he could break his arm three times and still catch a football.
Nine: No one-well at least not me-will want the Giants fans to get their ultimate fantasy, the G-Men competing in a Super Bowl in New York. I won't root for them to do that nor will I want them to win any games. And I won't feel bad for them if the team implodes, controversy swirls, back-stabbing escalates, Eli Manning pouts, and the coach gets fired.
Ten: RG3 won't disappoint.