Maria Sharapova may have put an end to the recent controversy over whether Roger Federer is handsome or not. Federer was maintaining his line that he would not go back on court until he was named most handsome male player on the circuit. Federer has said that he will not play another game until he gets a definitive statement from the tennis authorities that he is the best looking male player in the world today. He has demanded that the International Tennis Federation, organize a poll on a global scale that demonstrates he is not only the top seed but also top stud.
Today however, when he was having a quiet drink with female tennis player and beauty, Maria Sharapova. Federer apparently brought up the subject about his looks and Sharapova was quick to say that she did not know why there was a debate. "Roger - I find you sexy" she is reported as saying.
Quick as a flash Federer reached for his cell phone and contacted his agent. Within half an hour an impromptu press conference had been called at a local hotel. "I tell you today" said Federer "That Ms Sharapova - the most beautiful lady in the world - has said that I am very sexy. There it is. End of debate. No more speculation. I am sexy." He then grinned maniacally. Maria Sharapova was asked by journalists if she thought Federer was the most handsome man on the circuit. Looking nervously at the worlds number one seed, who was staring wild eyed at her as he awaited her reply. So she offered a rather feeble: "Why sure." This seemed to satisfy Federer who ran out of the room whooping with delight.
Pallid scotsman, Andy Murray, commented later: "Federer may have got his way this time - but I will soon have a suntan and a decent haircut and then we will see who Maria really fancies".
Meanwhile, women's world number two seed Serbian Ana Ivanovic has hit back at press stories linking Russia's Maria Sharapova and Roger Federer as "lurid crap" and denied the Swiss twelve time grand slam champ seduced her in a steamy Flushing Meadows sauna.
"It was at the Stade Roland Garros physio clinic." Ivanovic said today. "And it wasn't just some tawdry, tacky 'slam-bam-thankyou-maam," Ivanovic scoffed. "It was the spiritual meeting of twin souls, consummating the beginnings of a lifetime's amour."
Doha Women's Open Organisers have protected Ivanovic safely from feisty blonde Russian Champion Maria Sharapova after fears of a pre-title catfight breaking out in public. Ivanovic, 20, has reluctantly refrained from issuing her own 'YouBoob' video about the Federer tryst after receiving some written advice from Roger Federer's long-time girlfriend Slovakian-born Mirka Vavrinec's lawyers. "Bah, they don't scare me!" Ivanovic said dissmissively today.
Meanwhile the tennis world's top male celeb newspaper Men With Balls has promised half a million dollars to anybody proving Federer is anything but firmly shackled to his long-suffering fiancee Mirka.
Disclaimer: The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.