FN is a diverse community with much drama going around...so I will be writing a soap opera for FN. If you want a cameo, just Fanmail me and you WILL get one guaranteed or else you will get your money back. This will be coming every Friday.
Viewer Discretion is Advised...
We fade into a courtroom filled with people...Goodell is fighting his innocence in the NCshvDavid shootings.
(Bailiff) Steelercooz: All rise for the honorable Judge Nanook O' North presiding.
Oso sits his big furry butt on the leather Judge Chair.
(Judge) Oso: Our case today concerns Goodell. He is a suspect in the NCshvDavid shootings. Our 9-person Jury today consists of: Bigalke, Esco, Cincy, Buddhasillegitimatechild, Da 'Masta, Steveo, Coletrain, 'Ey, Hemo. NCshvDavid won't be able to attend today's hearings because he is still spending time recovering.
Enter Goodell and his Lawyer BSchwartz and NCshvDavid's Lawyer Sportsfan 414 and Witness Cheezhead.
Sportsfan 414: Oso, may I please call Goodell to the stand.
Oso: It's "your honor" to you newbie.
Sportsfan 414 (rolls eyes): Your honor, may I please call Mr. Goodell to the stand?
Oso: Fine, but don't keep that tone mister.
Sportsfan 414: You aren't the boss of me!
Steelercooz: Mr. Sportsfan, keep it up, and we'll have to take you outside.
Sportsfan 414: Sorry Mr. Cooz. Anyway, let me get to questioning Mr. Goodell. Mr. Goodell, have you ever been in contact with a person who posses a gun.
Goodell: Yea...YOUR MOM! Hehe...
Sportsfan 414: Not amusing sir...
We fade to black, and we fade back into a hospital room. NCshvDavid is recovering. He turns the TV on and starts flipping channels. He flips to FN News and hears the following report:
(Anchorman) Paddy: We are back live with a breaking news. Dan has been kidnapped! We will know go to our correspondent live.
(Correspondent) CCC: Thank you Paddy. The FNPD has just gotten a mysterious call from a Kidnapper. He's asking for a ransom of NO views on anymore of Josh's blog. The FNPD still doesn't have a lead on who the kidnapper is, but they are working hard on finding a clue.
Paddy: Thank you CCC. In other news, the rate of stupid TDs has increased 100%. The Moderators are working hard on fixing that, so they will be gone soon.
NCshvDavid's Doctor Nomarfan walks in, and shuts the TV off.
Nomarfan: David, I have good news and bad news.
NCshvDavid: Good news first, please.
Nomarfan: You will be released from the hospital today.
NCshvDavid: So, what's the bad news?
Nomarfan: You won't be able to TD for 2 weeks.
NCshvDavid (shocked): No, no, no. That's impossible. TDing is in my blood.
Nomarfan: David, the only way too fully recover is to not TD for 2 weeks.
NCshvDavid: But, is there any other way I can get better.
Nomarfan: There is one way...but it's drastic.
NCshvDavid: I'll do anything!
Nomarfan: You have too...not lose ALL of them...or else your injury will be re-injured by a loss.
NCshvDavid: I accept the challenge!
We are back in the park...
Gu3: Ben, you stole the love of my life, and now I'll steal what is most important to you. Your life!
A shot is fired...Gu3 slumps to the ground. Tracy screams, Ben runs over to her and comforts her.
Tracy: You shot him...you monster!
Ben: It wasn't me!
Tracy: Than, who was it?!?!
(Unknown voice): I did...now, you guys will NOT inform the FNPD about this incident, it's his life on the line. He's not dead it's a posion dart.
Tracy (stuttering): Yes yes...we will do whatever you say.
The unknown shooter grabs Gu3, and whisks the body away. Ben and Tracy are traumatized, but they follow the shooter's commands and do not release the information on Gu3. We fade back to the courtroom...Sportsfan 414 is still questioning Goodell.
Sportsfan 414: Mr. Goodell, isn't it true that you have the 2nd most TD wins on FN, and NCshvDavid has the most TD wins on FN, am I right?
Sportsfan 414: Isn't it true that you have always wanted to be 1st?
Sportsfan 414: That's all I want to say, your honor. Now, I wish to speak with Cheezhead.
BSchwartz: Hold on, I want to question Cheezhead.
Oso: Sportsfan, you had you turn. It's BS's turn.
BSchwartz: Cheezhead, where were you on the day of the shootings?
Cheezhead: I was sitting in the front row of TD Arena.
BSchwartz: Now, Cheezhead, why do you think Goodell enlisted someone to shoot David?
Cheezhead: He had a smirk on his face after the TD...even though he lost.
KP (sitting in audience): Wow, Goodell's in TROUBLE.
Redskinmaniac (sitting in audience): He is, I think he did get someone to shoot David.
Hooah (sitting in audience): I bet you he's just jealous of David's record.
Ferrell (sitting in audience): I think he's mad about not being in the Hall of Fame.
LoveitHateit (sitting in audience): He's probably mad about both.
BSchwartz: Your honor, I would like to call Goodell to the stand.
Oso: OK, but make it short, Mrs. O'North is making my favorite food for dinner - fried tic-tacs.
Cheezhead cracks up laughing.
Steelercooz: Mr. Cheezhead, I have to show you something outside...
Steelercooz takes Cheezhead outside. We hear loud noises and what sounds like someone landing punches. Steelercooz escorts Cheezhead back inside. Cheezhead has what looks like a black eye.
BSchwartz: Mr. Goodell, why were you alledgedly smirking after your TD with David?
Goodell: Ummm...I was ready to PWN him in our next TD?
Redskinmaniac: Nice save...
We fade back into Josh's apartment. The shocking news of Dan's kidnapping has him worried, so he's flipping through the FN pages to find a private eye. He finds a good one "D&D - Danbash and Denis". He calls their number.
Denis: D&D - Danbash and Denis, how may I help you?
Josh: I would like to enlist your help.
Denis: For what sir?
Josh: I think I may have a stalker. For some reason, this person kidnapped my best friend and said to save his life, no one can view my blogs.
Denis and Danbash: You called the right guys! We will be over tomorrow to help you.
Josh breathes a sigh of relief. He might be able to find his friend! We fade to back, and then we fade back into David's house. He's TDing, and he just lost to Dudeman ST21 BS-CB SSSC NIU. He clutches his wound, and falls to the ground!
It took a little while, but it's done.
What do you think?