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HILLARY - Gee, Barack, you sure look sexy in your Somali goat herding suit! I always dreamed about a man who was handy around goats.

BARACK - What about your husband, ol' fat Bubba?

HILLARY - He only likes pigs.

BARACK - The most important thing you have to learn about milking a goat is that you have to grab the teat hard, squeeze and pull.

HILLARY - Oooh! Look at all the milk that came out!

BARACK - That's a male goat.

HILLARY - Barack, we have to resolve who is going to be in charge of herding the goats, me or you. I feel I have the most experience managing livestock from my years in Washington.

BARACK - That's precisely my point. These goats need new leadership that is not corrupt and self-serving. My career has taught me the value of purity and honesty.

HILLARY - Where did you learn all that?

BARACK - Chicago.

HILLARY - Say, isn't that where all the slaughterhouses are located?

BARACK - Not so loud! If the goats hear that word they'll stampede!

HILLARY - It must get lonely sometimes being up here in these hills with just goats for company.

BARACK - Actually, goats can be quite romantic once you get past the smell.

HILLARY - Goats are romantic!??

BARACK - It's a lot like being with my wife, though they don't talk as much.

HILLARY - But sometimes you must feel the need to have a soft, warm woman around.

BARACK - Well, naturally I need some support in my role as head goatmaster.

HILLARY - Wait a minute! Who elected you?

BARACK - The goats have spoken.

HILLARY - Not so fast, buster! It's not over until the fat lady sings!

BARACK - I didn't know you could carry a tune.

HILLARY - The goats have already spoken. They want me!

BARACK - No, me!

HILLARY - There's one way to settle this. Flip a coin. Heads I win, tails you lose.

BARACK - Wait a minute! That coin's got two heads on it!

HILLARY - Any man knows that two heads are better than one. Anyway, forget this. Let's let the superdelegates decide.

BARACK - Who are the superdelegates?

HILLARY - My husband Bubba, my daughter Chelsea and my dog Buddy.

BARACK - Your dog is a superdelegate?

HILLARY - Yeah, he represents New Jersey. Don't worry, they're used to it.

BARACK - Well, I want my slate of delegates.

HILLARY - Who are they?

BARACK - OJ, Pacman Jones and Michael Vick.

HILLARY - Hey, those guys are all crooks!

BARACK - Nobody's perfect.

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