Thank you, James Dolan, for providing comic relief to New York during the writers' strike!  Who needs Hillary Clinton when you've got the Knicks?  There's more violence on the Knicks bench than there is during a Rangers hockey game.  The Knicks are the only team in pro sports that don't need an opposing team to have a riot.  Now that Stephon Marbury's out of the picture it's giving Eddy Curry, Zack Randolph and Quentin Richardson a chance to shine as primetime screw-ups.

Nobody beats the Knicks (at screwing up).  Isiah Thomas has got so many players sitting on the bench that Dolan had to get a larger bench specially made.  There's so much fighting going on between the players that the Knicks are the only team in the NBA with a penalty box.  When the players come out to the court from the locker room, they have to pass through a metal detector.  Isiah Thomas was shouting "Shoot! Shoot!"  So Curry pulled out a gun and shot Randolph.

Thomas' new strategy is to have a prayer meeting before every game.  They're praying for rain so that the game will be postponed.

When the Knicks went up to Canada to play the Raptors in Toronto, James Dolan called George Bush and begged him not to let them back in the States.  The Canadians got so mad that the Knicks might stay there  that they declared war on the U.S. to make us take them back.

In response, the U.S. government changed the motto on the Statue of Liberty to read "Send me your huddled masses, but keep the Knicks."