Actually I made two, lol
PICK TEAM PLAYER POSITION COLLEGE
1. Miami Dolphins: Durant Brooks, P, Georgia Tech
The Dolphins suck, so they'll be punting a lot. It only makes sense to invest in a solid, young punter.
2. St. Louis Rams: Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
He'll be starting in Week 3 when Bulger goes down with a concussion, like always
3. Atlanta Falcons: Brian Brohm, QB, Louisville
This pick makes sense because he has chemistry with Bob. . .oh wait. . .
4. Oakland Raiders: Steven Friend, DT, Central Michigan
Al Davis has no friends left in the Raiders' organization, so this will at least give him one. Technically
5. Kansas City Chiefs: Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
He's used to wearing Red and White
6. New York Jets: Kory Lichtensteiger, C, Bowling Green
Eric Mangini is a secret ****
7. New England Patriots: Colt Brennan, QB, Hawaii
He's used to throwing the ball 70 times a game and running up the score
8. Baltimore Ravens: John David Booty, QB, Southern Cal
The Ravens enjoy having an incredible stock of mediocre QBs
9. Cincinnati Bengals: Marcus Harrison, DT, Arkansas
Has character issues. Is this joke overused yet?
10. New Orleans Saints: Rashard Mendenhall, Rb, Illinois
11. Buffalo Bills: Mike Cox, FB, Georgia Tech
This name made Ralph Wilson chuckle. No, never mind, that was me.
12. Denver Broncos: Tom Zbikowski, SS, Notre Dame
Will eventually take over John Lynch's spot as the most undeserving Pro Bowl induction every year
13. Carolina Panthers: Marcus Monk, WR, Arkansas
He's used to playing with a mediocre QB
14. Chicago Bears: Andre' Woodson, QB, Kentucky
Rex Grossman? Really!?
15. Detroit Lions: DeSean Jackson, WR, California
This joke has been done to death, but blame Matt Millen for keeping it alive
16. Arizona Cardinals: J.R. Lemon, MLB, Illinois
I'm just picking players with funny names at this point
17. Minnesota Vikings: Dennis Dixon, QB, Oregon
Brad Childress secretly dreams of stockpiling every black QB in the league. Unfortunately, so does Del Rio.
18. Houston Texans: Jonathan Stewart-RB, Oregon
The Texans make another great pick, but the media will question it and say it doesn't make sense because apparently the Texans head of management touched every sports analyst when they were children.
19. Philadelphia Eagles: Mike Klinkenborg, MLB, Iowa
NO DONOVAN MCNABB YOU MAY NOT HAVE A PLAYMAKER!
20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Joe Jon Finley, TE, Oklahoma
John Gruden has a thing for hicks
21. Washington Redskins: Chris Long, DE, Virginia
By the time this pick rolls around the 'Skins will probably have traded it away for an over-the-hill veteran
22. Dallas Cowboys (From Cleveland): Joe Flacco, QB, Delware
He's actually, yenno, won games in the playoffs
23. Pittsburgh Steelers: Jake Long, OT, Michigan
Probably the only pick that makes sense but will never happen
24. Tennessee Titans: Aqib Talib, QB, Kansas
Vince Young needs no help on offense to win gamez
25. Seattle Seahawks: Alexis Serna, K, Oregon State
Josh Brown going to the Rams was a staggering loss for this franchise
26. Jacksonville Jaguars: Josh Johnson, QB, San Diego State
Like I said. Every. Black. Quarterback.
27. San Diego Chargers: Vernon Gholston, De, Ohio State
He can share roids with Merriman
28. Dallas Cowboys: Chad Henne, QB, Michigan
Just in case Flacco doesn't pan out
29. San Francisco 49ers: Jerome Simpson, WR, Coastal Carolina
His huge leaping ability will help him catch Alex Smith's wild overthrows
30. Green Bay Packers: Jerod Mayo, OLB, Tennessee
As you can probably tell, McCarthy likes mayo on everything, especially his team
31. New York Giants: Ryan Clady, OT, Boise State
Having Clady can make Eli Manning even more unstoppable. Just like his Citzen Eco-Drive watch, only better
Now that that's out of my system, I'll have my REAL mock draft up in like 2 hours