FanNation - The Republic of Sport

As I listened to Method Man on my bus ride to my tech center I began pondering my thoughts from the past couple weeks, when I was hit by the idea to type ‘em down and throw them into a filing in the 68 Files of Secrecy.  These are strictly my thoughts, feelings, and ideas from the past two weeks about football...so if you were expecting something else, then just re-read the title and get back to me.  This is a bit long, so if you can't sit still long enough to read it, then skip down to number four...that's the funniest one.

1) People these days don't understand football aka "This ain't real football." I say this because over the past couple weeks I've been participating in some lunchtime football fun and much to my dismay have been met with some opposition to my aggressive, physical nature of football play by a few of the others. They play two hand touch and a few of them feel that this outlaws virtually all physicality, which in my mind is untrue. The game of football is meant to be played hard. A particular instance involves some scrawny white kid (probably a bit bigger than hemogoblin). My team had just scored and we were kicking-off, I sprint down the field to make a play as I so often do on kick-offs. I'm almost there as their returner makes the catch and begins his return; only the white dude stands between me and making the 'tackle'. I push him out of the way, putting him on his a$s with no problem, and make the play. He immediately complains and he says, "This ain't real football." Of course I helped him up, but not being in my mind (I get quiet and focused when playing football [real or 'fake'--whatever the hell fake football is...soccer maybe?]) I just start getting ready to play defense, for the most part ignoring his complaints, but I also overhear from his teammate, "Why don't you hit him back?" I chuckled a bit at that because I didn't hear him respond. Anyway later I returned to this sentiment along with my other thoughts as I so often do. Football is football whether you are tackling, playing flag, two hand touch, or whatever. When I play 2-hand touch, the only thing I remove is the tackling; I still run, sprint, bump, push, block, and so forth. I'll still put my hands on you, trying to move you off your route or get you uncomfortable. No matter the situation, being physical is an INTEGRAL part of playing football and is a reason MANY LOVE the sport over all others. I blew up another guy on a kick return; put him on his back...he jumped up and congratulated me on the pancake. We shook hands and prepared for the throw off (we scored on the return). THAT is what should happen...not some hard feelings, it is football not catch so get used to being pushed or knocked down...if you can't handle that, then get the f8ck outta here.....pu$sies.

2) A renewed Madden addiction aka "I can't stop playing!" A few weeks ago (before Free Agency had started), I had decided NOT to purchase the new Madden like I have the past five years...but then...well, then free agency began and the salivating began...so now I'm going to be reserving that when I get the chance. All these moves like Marcus Stroud to Buffalo, Shaun Rogers, Corey Williams, and Donte Stallworth to the Browns, and a plethora of other big moves in the NFL market. I just can't wait for it now. Now some might say I could just make the moves on Madden 08, but it's just not the same. Of course there is also the argument that Sean Taylor won't be on there...but I have something to counter that...oh, don't worry though it'll be fair. Some have a FanNation addiction or just a Madden addiction, well I got both, and unfortunately one costs me $50. I just can't stop playing Madden.

3) Brett Favre...it can't be real aka "Favre retired? I call shenanigans on that." When I heard he didn't show up to his own "retirement" press conference I immediately felt that maybe, just maybe the Green Bay front office was trying to push him out for Aaron Rodgers or that he didn't actually WANT to retire. Why? I don't know...but the team's website "accidentally" put up a Brett Favre Retirement page announcing his retirement, but quickly pulled it down and cited it as an accident. If you think about it, the pushing of Favre to retire could make sense since Ted Thompson (GB GM) didn't draft or even trade for Favre (Ron Wolf did) and Thompson DID draft Aaron Rodgers, McCarthy and Favre were at each other's throats a bit when McCarthy initially took over, and if they wanted to remove him there is NO WAY they could release him because EVERY Packers' fan old enough to pick up a weapon would be rioting outside of the Packers' front office (in other words: a public relations nightmare). Only way to keep the fans and remove Favre would be by retirement. Of course, this is all speculation by me and could be completely untrue...but I thought I might as well put it out there for people to hypothesize and converse about. He also may return a couple months or even weeks before the season as the itch to play returns and a much needed scratch is applied. Again...just a thought on the situation. Well, when I wrote number 3 about a week ago, he had yet to do that second conference...but still...he'll get the urge.

4) A Jelly Donut is the NFL's greatest offense ever aka "Tom Brady is a delicious jelly donut's center." (which makes it the greatest jelly donut EVER) As you read that header you may begin thinking in a bad way (specifically a few ladies out there...Tracy I'm looking at you). Anyway, allow me to explain before you start hitting "Report Violation" buttons: back in (I think) December or (possibly) early January I was riding with my mom and brothers (helping her with groceries, if I remember correctly) when she inquired something or other about the Patriots. Well the conversation progressed to the Week 1 filming of the Jets somehow. As I defended the Patriots a bit of a slip took place and so were born...The New England Pastriots. Yes, you read that correctly: Pastry-ots...like a pastry. Neither my mom nor I could stop laughing for a solid five minutes and she would just start cracking up anytime I said it. But then the joke went further...a LOT farther. I went into a John Madden-like spiel where I equated the New England Patriots to a jelly donut. Imagine Madden saying this: "Tom Brady is like the delicious center of a jelly donut...specifically grape. Then, ya see, his offensive line is the donut bread surrounding and, most importantly, protecting that scrumptious grape jelly center from harm...or my mouth, mmm grapy jelly; ya know, I love me some grape jelly, haha...anyway BOOM! Then sprinkled on the outside is the flashy powdered sugar wide receivers Randy Moss, Donte Stallworth, and Wes Welker along with his tight end Ben Watson..." on and on...hilarious...I'd love to see Frank Caliendo do something like this. So...that's what makes the New England Patriots a delicious grape jelly donut.

5) Assistant Principal against football aka "I said no football! Now gimme the ball!" Mr. Ahrens is an assistant principal and is a Redskins fan (believe me, I know...he normally always comments to me about something or other Redskins-related as it is a guarantee I'm wearing something with the Redskins logo on it). As I explained in number one, I have recently been playing football during my lunch period and today was no different as we got into the game. I made an INT and on our second offensive play our QB scrambled the few yards that were needed to score. Then came the 'kick-off' and our adversaries began their second offensive series. A few plays later, Mr. Ahrens saunters over to reprimand us for playing ball, citing his previous 'warnings' against it despite the claims that all he'd asked was that 2-hand touch be played instead of tackle. Well, that had been done weeks ago and yet he still had a problem with it. As more complaints and inquiries were made to be able to finish just this game then have the ban on schoolyard football begin the next day, Ahrens demanded the ball. "I told ya'll already NO football...now gimme the ball." A state of shock conquered all for a few seconds before Rossi tossed him the ball, ending the game, and Ahrens strutted away like his usual a$shole-self. Now we play in front of the school and there are VERY few people that sit outside to eat during the first lunch (I've only seen someone besides a player get hit ONCE). We also aren't laying people out with vicious hits (though I'd love to). We're out there having fun, exercising, and playing a game we adore (at least I know I DO). As I said, Mr. Ahrens IS a football fan, which is what makes me curious at his reasoning to removing our joy of playing (especially one day where he sat and watched for at least ten minutes before coming over to stop the game last week). It's mystifying to me and I've yet to discover a plausible reason for this banning of football. People these days are worried about staying healthy, but when a school administrator is saying no to exercising you can see why many people are overweight especially those that have little spare time to go out and exercise; school lunchtime may be that person's only free time to get out there and burn some calories. This situation and its variables just don't equate to what is happening. Just hope that dude gets his football back...that and if we can continue to play as I enjoy it. Though, he does say playing catch is okay...which doesn't make much sense either. Anybody have an idea or suggestion for dealing with this? I just don't really understand his beef with us playing football.

6) ESPN reports that the Broncos key addition this offseason is: WR Keary Colbert aka "You just signed the best 4th string WR out there!" As I flipped between Redskins Radio and NFL Live a few days ago, I caught this message scrolling on the ticker at the bottom of the screen "Broncos Key Offseason Additions: WR Keary Colbert"...what? Colbert is nothing special and fills in as depth or training camp cutting material (or just a warm body). Maybe ESPN and the Broncos know something about Colbert that the Panthers didn't...like he can actually catch.  Maybe BSchwartz could clue us in on it...

7) Free Agency winners and losers aka "HA, I spent $50 million on one player and you didn't! I win!" (say it in that mocking tone) So...Free Agency is about two weeks into its madness and we've seen some big names move (i.e. Marcus Stroud) as well as some notoriously free agent busy teams just sitting back to watch that market for what they need. Personally, I'm glad my Redskins have, for once, decided NOT to pursue any big free agents or big names through trade (i.e. Chad Johnson). People were spouting that Dan Snyder would quickly revert to his 'fantasy' owner mold with Gibbs departure BUT that has YET to happen (there is always a chance). Anyway, Josh brought up a good point last week in his weekly diatribe about crowning free agency winners and losers (especially only HALF way through Free Agency). It's ludicrous and infinitely stupid to compare one team taking a more conservative approach where they sign guys for depth or to fill special teams roles while a big baller team goes out and spends an insane amount of cash to pry a player away from all other bidders. Tell me, 49ers fans, about last year when your team was supposed to contend. I (among a few others) were correct to say that the 49ers were going to be nothing special and would, in fact, not improve at all (they actually got worse). I'm just saying if you plan on crowning winners at least wait until Free Agency has ended...or the entire offseason has ended. We crown winners at the end of the season NOT a quarter of the way through the offseason.

Also...read the tags.