Posted by:
dudeman is back. maybe.

FN is a diverse community with much drama going I will be writing a soap opera for FN. If you want a cameo, just Fanmail me and you WILL get one guaranteed or else you will get your money back. This will be coming every Friday.

Viewer Discretion is Advised...

We fade into an apartment. We hear things being packed and panicked's Big Ben, Tracy, and J Hova!

Big Ben: Oh, goddamnit...we are screwed!

Tracy: Maybe we shouldn't have run off...

Big Ben: It was either that, or the cops questioning me...I didn't do anything, but they would've figured out what we REALLY talk about in Atroo. I mean, I would've spilled SOMETHING under the pressure.

J Hova: Yea...thanks for coming HERE.

Big Ben: It was either here or the investigation room...

J Hova: Yea, now I'll go down with you...thanks bro!

Big Ben: No prob.

Tracy: Keep it cool. We need to pack and leave as quickly as possible.

Big Ben: Yea, J.H. grab a 6-pack of Corona.

J Hova: Got it already, what's a road trip without a cool 6-pack?

Tracy: It's the middle of the winter...

Big Ben: So, 6-packs are perfect for ANY weather.

Tracy: Yea, it's also enough to put us in jail for longer than what we can be put away for now...

Big Ben: What do you mean?

Tracy: DUI...'tard.

Big Ben: Look lady, we ain't going to the clink, and DUI ain't that bad...

Tracy: Of course you would know.

J Hova: OK, now you guys chill. We have to leave soon. I don't need 2 people bitching while I'm driving.

Big Ben & Tracy: Alright...

The three hop into Ben's Volkwagen. J Hova revs the engine, and starts driving. Big Ben and Tracy are in the backseat...cuddling.

J Hova (turns on radio): Why don't you two lovebirds stop snuggling and look for the coppers.

Big Ben: Yea...sure.

3 minutes later J Hova hears giggling coming from the backseat.

J Hova (turns music up louder): Can it and look for cops.

Tracy: Heehee...sure J Hova.

All of a sudden we hear sirens. It's the FNPD! Officers Anthony E. and Dawgee Fresh! Dawgee steps out of the car to speak with J Hova.

Officer Dawgee: Excuse me, but can I see your identification?

J Hova: Why sir?

Officer Dawgee: You have a broken tail light.

J Hova: Damnit Ben, what did you do to your car?

Officer Dawgee: Is that Big Ben?

J Hova:

J Hova hits the gas. Officer Dawgee jumps in his car. We have a high-speed chase going on now! Into Ben's car.

Big Ben: Shiz. Wow you are RETARDED!

J Hova: Chill. We'll shake 'em off. 

Tracy: Yea, than you'll probably crash the car...

J Hova: Tracy, stick a huge piece of gum in your mouth, chew it, and DON'T TALK!

We go to the cops' car.

Officer Anthony: Dawgee, pedal to the metal!

Officer Dawgee: Heck yea!

***Commercial Break***

Interactive Baseball

Montoya and Big Red


We are back! We fade back into a hospital. In there, it's NCshvDavid, and the Physcology team of Dyhard and Hiya!

Dyhard: Hello David.

NCshvDavid: Hi...I'm so glad you're here...

Hiya: Well, it's not our fault that you TD to much.

NCshvDavid: Yea, but now it's your problem because you've got to help me deal with this.

Hiya: We helped Duquesne Cap, Da Masta and alot of other FNers with their addictions. I think we can help you.

Dyhard: He's right, we are the best of the best!

Hiya: Okay, after reviewing your chart I've come to the conclusion that you have a rare case of "TDaddictionitis".


Dyhard: Yes, you have a very rare case. This was only seen once before, and that person had to be deleted because their TDs took up the whole page.

NCshvDavid: Oh no, I have to stop! But, I can't live without TDs!

Hiya: We've been working on a therapy that will hopefully get you down to the amount of TDs done by an average FNer every day. 

NCshvDavid: What's the average?

Dyhard: 1...

NCshvDavid: Are you nuts? You expect ME to do 1 TD a day? I repeat, are you nuts?

Hiya: Sir, take a good look in a mirror. You'll see a TD-crazed man!

NCshvDavid: Is there anything wrong with that?

Dyhard: Of course there is!

We fade to black...than we fade into a dark, black room with no light except from a small lamp. It's a meeting between The Jury members and a FN FBI member are trying to determine a list of suspects in the NCshvDavid shootings. The FN FBI Member is Cheezhead.

Bigalke: Alright, well we can take Goodell off the lists of suspects. If you think someone did it, give a good reason, and we'll add them to the list.

Buddhasillegitimatechild: Bombers - Has ALOT of wins...I'm pretty sure he's behind David and Goodell on the "Most Wins List".

'Ey Capernicus: CCC - Has a great rivalry with David. Probably tried to shoot David, so the rivalry would be over, and CCC wouldn't have to lose to David again.

Da Masta: BSchwartz - Great TDer, most people consider him one of the greatest TDers on the site, if he killed off David, he would have less competition for the title "Best TDer".

Hemogoblin: Porkins - He just took the top spot on the leader board, and if David was dead, he could have a better chance of people of thinking of him as the best TDer on FN.

Cincy: Duquesne Cap - he almost retired from TDs...if David was out of the running for best TDer, than he would have more of an incentive to try and win some more TDs.

Steveo: Well, there is really no one else I can think of as the shooter.

Rest of Jury: Agreed.

Esco: Well, I guess this is our list.

Da Masta: Alright, this is our list:





Duquesne Cap

***Commercial Break***

The Sportscenter Closer

Eli is going to Disney

Brett Favre Priceless

We are back! We fade into J Hova's car.

J Hova: Damn, they are still behind us...

Tracy: I think I know why...

J Hova: Why?

Tracy: Because you were dumb enough TO GO IN A NEIGHBORHOOD!

Ben: Yea, smooth move...

J Hova: Look, I didn't wanna go past the speed limit, and have ANOTHER thing for the cops to want me for.

Tracy: Well, the crack charges will get you 35 years no doubt.

J Hova: Thanks for the reassurement.

Tracy: No prob ;)

All of a sudden a deer runs in front of the car! J Hova doesn't notice, and hits it! The Volkswagen spins out of control, and hits a tree!

Kinda coming late :)

But, here it is!'

Sorry to Cheezhead, Dwade, RUGator and Paddy. Wasn't able to get your cameos in...$50 will be returned to all of you :)


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