This is my first blog in a new series that I made up. It is meant to be funny, sad, happy, and just something for you to read in your spare time. Beware though: You may be in some of these blogs so if you feel insulted, hurt, or that I described you in the wrong way, to bad, suck it up and get on with your life! Here is Volume 1:
Dawgee Fresh is sitting in the kitchen waiting for his wife Redskinmaniac to wake up. He looks up as he hears his dog, Witness0708 enter the room. Dawgee looks at his watch and realizes that he has to go to work. He scribbles a quick note to Red then gets up and leaves. About 30 minutes later Red comes down with her 2 kids, Paddy26 and BSchwartz.
Red- "Hmm... today for breakfast let's have waffles."
Witness- "Woof, woof!"
Paddy- "Hey Witness my adorable little puppy! Yah, waffles are fine mom."
BSchwartz- "I would've rather had pancakes but..."
Paddy- "Stop complaining, waffles are good!"
Red ignores them and goes over to the waffles iron to start making their breakfast. For 10 minutes it is peaceful but then...
Red- "Call the fire department! My waffles are on fire!"
Witness- *runs into corner scared of the flames*
Bschwartz- "Ok, one sec, I'll go call."
BSchwartz runs to go pick up the phone, he dials 911.
Paddy- "How did you even manage to set them on fire?"
Red- "Well... it might of had something to do with trying to add fruit when they were still cooking...."
Paddy- "Sheesh Mom, how stupid are you? It says on the box in bold letters: DO NOT ADD ANY FRUIT WHILE COOKING, ADD BEFORE OR AFTER."
BSchwartz- "Well I called the fire peoples and they said that they were on their way..."
We fade to black and then into Dawgee's work office. He works as a Throwdown Security Guard. He is currently watching a TD done between Detroitfan and Porkins. The score is tied with 43 minutes of voting left.
Detroitfan- "You have no chance Porkins, I will take back my throne as top of the leaderboard!"
Porkins- "We shall see!"
Suddenly a shot rings out! Porkins falls to the ground shot in the chest! Dawgee rushes over to see if he is OK. Detroitfan has vanished as well. Dawgee suddenly stops running as a mysterious voice rings out:
Unkown Voice- "Hahaha! Porkins is dead and Detroitfan is kidnapped! If you ever want to see Detroitfan again then you must pay my ranson fee of 100 forfeited TD's!"
Dawgee- "Who are you? This is a Throwdown Officer! I order you to show yourself!
Unkown Voice- "Hahahahaha!"
We then fade to black again and re-appear in the FNPD. The FNPD detective Yanksfan is questioning Dawgee Fresh and his co-worker Big Ben68.
Yanksfan- "And you say that you never suspected anything?"
Big Ben- "Nope, it just seemed like a throwdown between 2 great TDers..."
Dawgee- "Well... now that you mention it, there was an odd looking fellow who came in towards the end. What was his name? I think it was something like ramdrumaster...."
Yanksfan's eyes light up.
Yanksfan- Why Ramdrumaster is 3rd on the leaderboard behind only Porkins and D-Fan! Quick we have to find him to question!"
Yankee presses a button that signals 2 of his officers to come to his office. Several minutes later, the 2 cops, Elway4Prez and EagleManiac walk into the room.
Yanksfan- "What took you guys so long?"
Elway4Prez- "Well we would've been here faster if this idiot hadn't had to press every button on the elevator *He glares at EagleManiac*"
EagleManiac- "Sorry, but it was so fun. *Eagle giggles stupidly*"
Yanksfan- "Well anyway, we have called you here today because we need to find and capture Ramdrumaster. He is a believed murderer and kidnapper. Also, the stakes are high, if we can't find him we must foreit 100 TDs to get D-Fan back."
Elway- "You can count on us boss! Well... at least me I'm not sure about him."
Elway gestures his head to Eaglemaniac. They then march out of the room to search for Ram.
Dawgee- "We're doomed if those 2 are the best that you've got!"
Yanksfan- "Nah, those were just something to get Ram's attention. The real people looking for him will be you, CavaBearDians, and your boss, Dyhard.
Dawgee- "Ah, that's much better."
Big Ben- "Yanksfan, what about me?"
Yanksfan- "You are going to have to be in court to be a witness as to what happened."
Big Ben- "K, that's cool."
We then fade to black for the last time today.
Well, I hope that you enjoyed volume 1 of: The troubles of FN. I put a lot of work into it. If you signed up for a part but were not mentioned in this volume then it is becasue your character hasn't come into action yet (like the judge or the jury members). But don't worry, you will be in next week's issue for sure. Stay tuned for next week's issue!