FN is a diverse community with much drama going around...so I will be writing a soap opera for FN. If you want a cameo, just Fanmail me and you WILL get one guaranteed or else you will get your money back. This will be coming every Friday.
Today's FN Soap Opera will be a special non-stop episode! No commercials!
Viewer Discretion is Advised...
We fade into a neighborhood street. Ben's car is lodged in a tree, and a cop car is parked on the side of the road, right next to Ben's car.
Officer Anthony: OK Dawgee, we've got them covered. I'm gonna call in Officers RUGator and Dwade for backup.
Officer Dawgee: Alright Anthony, lemme just pull out a bullhorn and announce to the criminals that we are here!
Dawgee looks around in the trunk and finds a bullhorn and begins to talk into it.
Officer Dawgee (into bullhorn): COME OUT OF THE CAR WITH YOUR HANDS UP!
We fade into Ben's car.
Ben: Now I know I definitely made a bad choice coming to YOUR house.
J Hova: You know what, I'm gonna rat you out soooo much.
Tracy: Hey hey, stop. Let's just get out and get this over with.
Officer Anthony has called backup. Officers RUGator and Dwade have arrived. Meanwhile, the three criminals crawl out of the Volkswagen.
Officer Dawgee: Keep those hands up!
Tracy (rolling eyes): Whatever you say cop...
Officer Dawgee: Perhaps instead of listening to me, you wanna listen to the barrel of my gun.
Ben: Hey, you leave my chick alone!
Officer Dawgee: Do you wanna listen to the barrel to?
J Hova: Officer, my friends are a bit...excited, please excuse the behavior.
Officer Dawgee: All of you shut up.
Dawgee takes a step toward the three, but slips on a puddle of oil that came from Ben's car. J Hova and Ben rush Dawgee! Anthony comes over brandishing his weapon.
Officer Anthony: BOTH OF YOU ON YOUR KNEES NOW!
Ben and J Hova drop down, and hold still. As they are holding still, backup shows up.
Officer Anthony: Officers RUGator and Dwade, I want you two to get Ben and J Hova in the car.
Officer Dwade: OK Anthony. Dawgee you ok?
Officer Dawgee (shaken up): Y-y-yes...I'll be fine.
Officer RUGator: You two are looking at ALOT of time.
As Dwade and RUGator cuff J Hova and Ben, Anthony begins to question Tracy.
Officer Anthony: How long have you and Ben had a relationship?
Tracy: We've been interested in each other for a couple years...we started dating about 2 months ago.
Officer Anthony: Where did you two meet?
Tracy: We met in a live blog made by Josh.
Officer Anthony: Did you feel a connection with him?
Tracy: Yes...he seemed like a cool guy.
Officer Anthony: What qualites do you look for in a guy?
Tracy: What is this? Eharmony.com or something?
Officer Anthony: I just got out of a relationship...I don't wanna stay single long :)
Tracy: Leave me alone, I want a lawyer NOW.
Officer Anthony: I need your purse, and Officer Dawgee will escort you into the police car.
Anthony motions to Dawgee to come.
Officer Anthony: Dawgee, take Tracy to the car.
Officer Dawgee: Sure.
As Dawgee escorts Tracy to the car., RUGator and Paddy are struggling with Ben and J Hova.
Officer RUGator (while grabbing Ben): OK Ben. We can make this hard or easy, your choice.
Ben: Look, I don't wanna go to the clink. I'll do ANYTHING.
Officer RUGator: You've got yourself in to deep to go back now.
Officer Dwade: J Hova, you can choose to.
J Hova: Well, I think the response will be the same.
Officer Dwade: You're pretty smart for a criminal.
We fade to black, than we fade into the Soccer T&R with Gu3, Dan, and the three kidnappers.
Unknown Voice 1: What do we do with these 2 whiners?
Unknown Voice 2: I say we throw them in a river...that way we don't have to worry about them...
Gu3: NO NO NO.
Dan: You don't wanna do that...if they find our bodies, you will have a BIG problem.
Unknown Voice 3: How will we have a problem? We won't get caught...
Dan: Don't worry, you will.
Unknown Voice 2: Ah. I think we got a pyschic...*rolls eyes*
Dan: You guys will never get away with this! The FNPD will take care of you!
Gu3: YEA! YOU WON'T BEAT THEM!
Unknown Voice 1: Calm down kid, we are always a step ahead of the FNPD.
Unknown Voice 2: We still gotta answer the question...what are we gonna do with these 2?
Unknown Voice 3: I think we should sit tight...the cops ain't on our trail.
Gu3: He's right you know...
Unknown Voice 2: OK, I think it's agree that we will sit tight.
We fade out of the Soccer T&R. We go to NCshvDavid's hospital room.
NCshvDavid: OK, so what's my schedule?
Hiya: 1 argument a day.
NCshvDavid: 1 ARGUMENT?!?! YOU SAID 1 TD!
Dyhard: Yea...we changed our minds...
Dyhard: Because your condition is SEVERE, and we want to make you cut back significantly, not by a couple TDs a day...
Hiya: David, you have a real problem. We want you to be proffessional about this. Please be mature.
NCshvDavid: BUT I WANNA TD! :'(
Hiya: We might just have to get you some pills...
Dyhard: David, I think you'll be with us for a LONG time...
NCshvDavid: Look, it's fun. It makes me feel otherworldly because I'M SO GOOD.
Hiya: Now you sound like Michael Jordan...you've done so much, can you please give it up?
NCshvDavid: But, I have so much to achieve!
Dyhard: What is there left? You have the most wins, Goodell isn't even close, if you stick to one TD a day, you'll still be on top of that list.
NCshvDavid: You don't UNDERSTAND!!!
Dyhard: And I thought we were the best pyschologists...this guy is a nutcase!
Hiya: We need to keep this guy off the streets...
As Hiya and Dyhard contemplate what to do with NCshvDavid, we fade to black. We fade into the Boardroom with FN FBI member Cheezhead and the Jury.
Cheezhead: I like how this is organized, but I'm taking over. Esco and 'Ey will be in charge of finding, and interrogating Bombers. Bigalke and Steveo will get CCC. Hemogoblin and Cincy will go after BSchwartz. Coletrain and Buddhas will get Porkins. Me and Da Masta will find and interrogate Duqesne Cap. Everyone, go find your suspect, NOW!
As the Jury and Cheezhead prepare to find their suspects we fade to black. Than, we fade into the neighborhood where the police are taking care of the Ben, Tracy and J Hova situation. As Officer Anthony looks through Tracy's purse...he makes a startling discovery. There's a scale in there! As soon as Officers RUGator and Dwade are done stuffing Ben and J Hova in the backseat of their cop car, Anthony motions for them to come near him.
Officer Anthony: Guys, there is a scale in here. I want you to search through the car.
While searching the car Officer Dwade finds the dope.
Officer Dwade: I got the dope!
Officer RUGator: Damn! That's 175 milligrams!
Officer Anthony: This should DEFINITELY be enough to lock the three up forever.
All of a sudden we hear a screech! It's Officer Dawgee...he's been stabbed by J Hova! Hova got him in the neck, as he attempted to sit in the front seat! The three criminals now are trying to escape, and the other three officers can't decide whether to catch them or help Dawgee!
Like it? Leave a comment...