Lou Piniella expands Scott Eyre's horizons through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program
(Chicago, IL) - Looking to fill a void in his life, Lou Piniella volunteered to be a Big Brother through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program. When Scotty Eyre, 34, found out his new Big Brother was Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella, he could hardly believe it.
When asked about the program, Eyre replied, “I am just so happy to have someone to play with, talk to, and help me if I have a problem at school.”
And Big Brother Lou is honored to have the chance to make an impact on this young man’s life. “I just want to be a positive influence for Scotty – someone he will always remember or can come to talk to about anything,” said Lou. "Plus, being the manager of the Cubs, I can give Scotty unique opportunities that he wouldn't otherwise be able to experience."
"He never, ever yells at me when the kids on the other teams hit the ball really far when I throw it to them. That makes me feel good," said little Scotty, when asked about the recent struggles of the Cubs 'pen.
Expanding horizons through the power of one-to-one friendships.
When grilled by the media about continuing to use Eyre in crucial situations, Lou guffawed, "What is more important? The future of this young man or a silly baseball game? I'm trying to create memories that will last a lifetime here. I'm not concerned about the outcome of the game. GROW UP!"
"Me and my Big Brother are going to Chuck E. Cheese next week!" added Eyre.
In case it isn't painfully obvious, this is a PARODY news publication, so accounts and quotes are FICTIONAL. No one should construe this fake article as being fact. Additionally, any similarity between this and other publications is entirely coincidental. Don't sue. We don't have money anyway. Complaints taken at geoff@bricksandivyradio.com)
Read this and other fine Cubs articles at www.cubsbrickyard.com
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Comments (3) Add A Comment
hilarious... as a cubs fan, it is horrendous to see scott eyre blow lead after lead. no wonder lou piniella had him not pitch for a week. send HIM to triple A and bring up Neal Cotts... at least Cotts hasn't blown four saves. there are other promising pitchers that deserve a shot in our farm system, and we should package him and one of our many outfielders for a quality lefty(yea right, Jim Hendry wont do anything)
cubfreak
Wilmette , IL
Total Comments (3)
You always make me laugh like a little girl. At least reading your blog is giving me some "Cubs happiness", cause this season isn't.
Cubbie 4 Life
Noblesville , IN
Total Comments (19)
Nice work Butch. That absolutely cracked me up. The picture is priceless.
CubsClapp
Fort Collins, CO
Total Comments (42)
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