Met-aphorically Speaking
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I’ve seen the tape. I watched in hi-def. I watched every **** angle.

You know what? I still don’t know if Reyes made it in. It was a tough call, that could have gone either way, and for a change, the Mets came up roses. Their fans were thrilled. Philly fans were pissed. And a non-event suddenly became a hot topic (well, in these two cities, anyway).

Now, we all know umps and refs suck in any (every?) arena. That’s just the nature of the beast, friends. But, to prove my point, since last night’s controversial call at home plate, the following things have happened in professional sports:

  1. 93 weak high sticking penalties
  2. 12 double plays where shortstops “phantom tagged” second base
  3. 51 non-foul calls in the paint
  4. 387 strikes that never actually crossed the plate
  5. 3 premature towel throws
  6. 1 ref distracted by Triple H, causing a chair to end up in someone’s grey matter

Because it was these two teams involved, the world is at standstill. Mexicans are being welcomed over borders, porn stars suddenly just want to be hugged, and the residents of both NY and Philly are back to sharting all over each other’s postcards. In fact, there are really only 50 or so people that have moved on and stopped caring about a tough call; we know them as the Mets and the Phillies.

162 games, kids…162…

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