You've seen all the mock drafts so far (and you'll soon be seeing mine), but what I wanted to do was a mock of a different kind. Below are my choices for the 2008 NFL Draft All-Name Team. In it, I have selected a range of names covering each position that are unique for their originality, tongue-twisting potential or otherwise innuendic value. They don't have to be a top-10 pick. In fact, most of them aren't even first-day picks. Ergo, this may be the most meaningful mention that some of them will get.
The 2008 NFL Draft All-Name Team
QB- John David Booty, USC-- I was tempted my Adam Tafralis out of San Jose State, but I couldn't ignore my baser instincts.
RB- Rashard Mendenhall, Illinois and BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Ole Miss-- Mendenhall is a likely top-15 selection and Ellis is, like, four names rolled into one.
FB- Jehuu Caulcrick, Michigan State-- Seriously. You couldn't make some of these names up.
WR- Mario Urrutia, Louisville and De'Cody Fa*g, Florida State-- Urrutia gets points for going to school in my hometown and Fa*g, well, got laughed at in high school.
TE- Kolo Kapanui, West Texas A&M-- This guy's from Hawaii, isn't he?
OT- Gosder Cherilus, Boston College and King Dunlap, Auburn-- If you're 6-7, 315 you can be called anything you want, and if your parents have to give you a title then you're already working at a disadvantage (as of this writing, Dunlap is projected as a 5th round selection. Good to be the King? I think not.)
Honorable mention to Louisville's Breno Giacomini, Colorado's Tyler Polumbus and Cincinnati's Digger Bujnoch.
OG- Chilo Rachal, USC and Andrew Crummey, Maryland-- Crummey class this year.
C- Kory Lichtensteiger, Bowling Green-- I don't know what the German word for pe*is is, but it better not be steiger. Imagine what the back of this guy's jersey will look like.
DE- Rudolph Hardie, Howard and Greyson Gunheim, Washington-- A Christmas savior and a guy who could pass as one of the X-Men.
DT- Kentwan Balmer, North Carolina and Leger Douzable, Central Florida-- I got nothing for this one.
ILB- Jerod Mayo, Tennessee and Danny Lansanah, Connecticut-- Connecticut has a football team?
OLB- Mike Humpal, Iowa and Stanford Keglar, Purdue-- Anyone with the word hump or keg in their name is cool, as long as they don't actually hump a keg.
CB- Leodis McKelvin, Troy, Orlando Scandrick, Boise St. and Jack Ikegwuonu, Wisconsin-- In the NFL, you need three these days. See previous remark about the word keg.
FS- Haruki Nakamura, Cincinnati and SS Wesley Woodyard, Kentucky-- Japanese names are awesome, SS names are short, so Woodyard's Kentucky pedigree gets the nod.
Honorable mention: Alabama's FS Simeon Castille and Washington St. FS Husain Abdullah
K- Shane Longest, St. Xavier (Chicago)-- Longest what? Remember, if it's in your name...
P- Mike Dragosavich, North Dakota St.-- When your name is longer than one of your kicks...
The real mock draft is coming shortly.