Met-aphorically Speaking
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The following things will never be said by anyone visiting Shea Stadium this season:

  1. “I love the Flushing skyline.”
  2. “Yes, that’s urine, but from which borough?”
  3. “I think Pedro’s pitching tonight.”
  4. “How is your merlot?”
  5. “Ralph Kiner remembered me.”
  6. “Sosa brought his A-game.”
  7. “Mr. Met touched me in a bad place.”
  8. “Yeah, that burger’s definitely Angus.”
  9. “They’re out of Kevin Elster throwbacks.”
  10. “Ah-LOOO-Alou-Alou-Alou!!!”
  11. “The alcohol-free section is full.”
  12. “Who are those attractive women on the sausage line?”
  13. “This year, let’s see what we can do to an 8-game lead…”
  14. “Where’s Rickey?”
  15. “Welcome home, Tim McCarver!”
  16. “No moving down, these are our assigned seats.”
  17. “Where are all the Hispanic players?”
  18. “Billy Joel is a Mets fan at heart.”
  19. “I hope they hit Cow Bell Man with a rocket launched t-shirt.”
  20. “Next year is now.”

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