What do penguins eat?
It turns out Roger Clemens has been having an affair with obese golfer John Daly's ex-wife. Her specialty must be rummaging around in layers of fat to find their little peckers. No wonder Clemens is on so much spit, his sex life requires more power than his pitching.
Oscar de la Hoya is fighting Steve Forbes this weekend at Victoria's Secret Arena in San Francisco. In this corner, Steve Forbes in the black trunks, and in this corner: Oscar de la Hoya in the pink panties with the floral mini-dress and the fishnet stockings. Yoo-hoo! Come here often? Take that you b**ch! The referee is Sen. Larry Craig.
The Knicks latest reject is president Donnie Walsh, who managed the Pacers for 30 years without getting into the playoffs. Boy, Dolan sure knows how to pick them. Walsh follows loser Isiah Thomas, who followed Larry Brown and so on to infinity.
Who's the bigger sucker, the Knicks or the fans, who pack the Garden every night to see the latest episode of the Knicks soap opera? The last time the Knicks won a title, I wasn't even born yet.