FanNation

Here's the following real life meanings for the following statements uttered on the golf course:

1. "I'm a working stiff just like you Mike." - you ain't getting much of a tip

2. "How long did you say you've been caddying here?"- I don't think you know what you're talking about

3. "This putt's all about speed." - you have no way of making this putt OR I have no idea which way this putt breaks

4. "Ready to go 'boys'?" - I think I'm much cooler than I actually am

5. "Breakfast ball on the first tee?" - I forgot to wear a diaper today

6. "Go!" (to ball in flight) - it's a miss hit that has absolutley no chance of getting anywhere near the green but I have to act like I know what I'm doing

7. "Sit!" (to ball in flight) - I can't wait until you guys ask me what I hit so I can impress you with my golfing prowess

8. "It never moved!" (to playing group after missing a putt) - it's my caddy's fault

9. "What do you think, Mike?" - I accept no responsibilty for the outcome of this shot

10. "I'm going to take care of you after the round." - I'm going to sneak off without paying

11. "You're by far the best caddy I've ever had." - don't expect more than the going rate

12. "We want to play from the tips. We want to see the whole course." - with your game, don't worry, you will (my mental response)

13. "Put me down for a double." - I lie

14. "How's the lie?" - did you improve it while no one else was looking?

15. "Just go ahead, I'll find it." - I have another ball in my pocket that I fully intend to replace that lost ball with

16. "Automatic presses?" - I didn't bring enough money today

17. "Closest to the pin for a dollar?" - I have performance anxiety

18. "Nice ball." - I'm jealous

19. "New sticks?" - I have performance anxiety

20. Referring to any golf course as a "track," or any reference to a three putt as a "three-jack"- I'm a wannabe