FanNation

Strangely, I logged onto FN Monday morning and saw something that has not occurred to my account since the adoption of the new Fanmail/GroupMail thing. It read (1/1). Its not as if I don't belong to a lot of FN groups either - I'm no Dyhard, but I've got a pretty good list. So after I checked in and read my one personal fanmail (a Saturday TD look-see from Djroxalot - sorry DJ too late) it was 0/1 then about 15 minutes later I check in and the unthinkable happened. No mail at all. Wow. It didn't last, which I was actually glad of. By noon it was back to 1/5 and I felt ok again.

So anyway, here I was Monday morning, starved for good ole FN blog fun. There wasn't any. Not until JHova's Tyson blog, which was over an hour later. So I did something I hardly ever do, and paged back through what had transpired over the weekend. Part of my sanity therapy is that I don't visit FN much on the weekends. Lately, I've been working some Saturdays, and breaking that rule, but last Saturday I stayed home and took care of some things around the house instead.

I saw JHova's comment on Bucmasters blog. (I agree with my Raider fan friend Love it Hate it - people who've been on the site a few months probably shouldn't be making blogs like that, although Bucky had a different profile before). Still, J's comment struck me that he may leave after 100 blog posts. I also looked up RUGator to see what he posted over the weekend - always an informative read. His blog touched upon people leaving FN, how sad it was etc. RUGator is a real writer folks, for sure. And he writes on other sites as well. Yet, he likes it here at FN. Bigalke makes no secret he's just using FN to promote his Helium columns - yet still almost every week we see Bigalke in the Throwdown Arena - hardly the most dignified literary forum. If J were to leave it would make me very sad, although I can understand he has reasons.

A couple of times this past month the subject of my true identity - why I prefer to remain anonymous has come up. Some people see it as a weakness in me, which I suppose it is. Yet, I can't help but think, during the times I've had a few and feel full of myself - that if I weren't anonymous perhaps I too would be testing the outside blog world. No. I like what I do here. I really know of no place else I could do this. And I enjoy it. For free. DC suggested we should all get a cut from Time Warner. Researching my Throwdown tourney idea last week, I actually read the Site Terms of Use. When we registered on here, we pretty much threw all our rights down the toilet. But that wasn't why I registered on here anyway. I've never intended to be here for any other reason than fun and something to do.

Here's an odd analogy that could only come from me. The FN blog scene reminds me of the Gilman Street punk rock scene (Berkeley) in the early 90's. The creed of the punks was that it was DIY and not done to get rich. There was incredible talent in that scene. There were incredibly stupid bands as well. Lots of life. Good and bad. Green Day rose out of that scene, and after their major label success were not welcomed back. Sell-outs they were called. While I would never go that far, anybody who starts out on FN and can make something of it - more power to ya - I find myself feeling like a punk again. I'm not here to get rich off this. As a punk makes music for the thrill of p'issing of society and having fun, I do this for the thrill of pushing our Moderator friend as far as I can push him and also, to have fun.

There was another wrinkle to this story I forgot to mention. Those crafty IT guys at my company are on to me a little, I'm pretty sure. Last week I found a new folder inside my My Documents. It was labeled "BBS". Inside was the part of my employment agreement that basically says anything I create on a company computer is property of the company, blah blah blah. So at least one of them knows. The funny thing to me is that they would intend to profit from it. Ha! Not one of my blogs has ever been done with any other intention than to have a few Fannation users enjoy my pictures and maybe have a chuckle at what I say. I have never had, and never will have any intention to make money off of this.

That gets me to the final point of this rambling thing. I, too, might someday be forced to abandon FN, only perhaps not by choice so much as necessity. My job is extremely important to me, my family, my life-  and FN - as much fun as it is - isn't worth it. So I might walk away someday too. I hope not. I hope to be here for as long as I want to be. Right now, I want to be here. I'm disappointed when there aren't many blogs and TD's to comment on. I crave sports discussion too much.

This blog and every other one I do is given to the internet for free. For the purchase price of nothing. I'm not trying to be more idealistic than anyone else, and I have no problems with other people using it or their blogs for whatever financial gain etc that they can get out of it. This is just me and what is right for me and only me.