NFL owners voted this morning to reduce the length of the current collective-bargaining agreement with the players by two years, meaning it will now expire after 2010. That could potentially lead to a lockout that might threaten the 2011 season.
That got me thinking -- What in the world am I going to write about this morning? Wait, I didn't type that out loud, did I? What I meant to say was, What would the nation look like without the NFL? Here are a few fearless predictions:
10. Millions of men shocked to discover they have a wife and kids
9. Martial law declared to round up loose Bengals
8. Out-of-work head coaches find they even prefer hearing boos to new daily cry of, "Hey genius, why don't you trim the damn hedges?"
7. Figuring they're already ‘roided-up, players switch to baseball
6. ABC introduces new spinoff Dancing With Gridiron Stars
5. "Fantasy games" return to Triple-X roots
4. Bookies forced to return to day jobs as NBA refs
3. After spiral into madness, Bill Belichick arrested as peeping tom
2. We could finally stop obsessing about Brett Favre
1. Wait, there'd still be college football, right?
Faces at the U.S. Open
Comments (209)
Nooooooo! Even the mere idea of no NFL...
I think I'm starting to hyperventalate...
Kari - DaPrez | 05/20/08, 10:39 AM
Report Offensive Comment12) Inundate Vince McMahon with requests to bring back the XFL
DOC - Major Medical | 05/20/08, 10:43 AM
Report Offensive CommentLeaves could get raked without waiting for the bye week.
Jim from Milwaukee | 05/20/08, 10:44 AM
Report Offensive CommentMost commonly heard question in NFL Stadium parking lots: Canada has a football league?
Finsterbaby 12 to 43 | 05/20/08, 10:45 AM
Report Offensive CommentIt would definately complicate programming on the NFL Network.
Jim from Milwaukee | 05/20/08, 10:45 AM
Report Offensive Comment11) Ladies and Gents, American Idol XXXIX.
Brian K Jones | 05/20/08, 10:45 AM
Report Offensive CommentUSFL reforms and each of the teams drafts one of Hershel's personalities
DOC - Major Medical | 05/20/08, 10:46 AM
Report Offensive Comment14) College players would have to travel to Europe to play futbol, like women athletes do.
Brian K Jones | 05/20/08, 10:47 AM
Report Offensive Commentwon't happen...jerry jones won't let it happen...he has the superbowl for that season.
tex.the.bluejay | 05/20/08, 10:47 AM
Report Offensive CommentVH1 expands the "Where are they now?" franchise to include former NFL players.
SDSportsGirl | 05/20/08, 10:48 AM
Report Offensive CommentThe cost of renting a yacht in MN drops dramatically so even an average joe can experience it.
SDSportsGirl | 05/20/08, 10:48 AM
Report Offensive Comment15) "Mel Kiper Jr.'s Atomic Hair Set - twice as strong as Jimmy Johnson's Jel, or your money back."
Brian K Jones | 05/20/08, 10:48 AM
Report Offensive CommentOver on Spike, they switch the football component of Pros vs. Joes to Joses vs. Joes.
SDSportsGirl | 05/20/08, 10:49 AM
Report Offensive CommentSunday Night NCAA matchups suddenly make sense.
Finsterbaby 12 to 43 | 05/20/08, 10:49 AM
Report Offensive CommentSoccer finally gains an audience in the US. Hey, the NFL Cheerleaders had to go somewhere, right?
SDSportsGirl | 05/20/08, 10:49 AM
Report Offensive CommentOffensive linemen can expect their quarterback to buy them Nissan Versas instead of those expensive Audis.
Kari - DaPrez | 05/20/08, 10:50 AM
Report Offensive CommentThanksgiving postponed.
Finsterbaby 12 to 43 | 05/20/08, 10:51 AM
Report Offensive CommentNot even worth a joke. Too scary.
thehemogoblin: home again | 05/20/08, 10:54 AM
Report Offensive Comment11. Dads and their kids find happiness in tossing around a football instead of tossing back a couple beers in front of the TV. Family harmony becomes pandemic, and Sunday afternoons are filled with echoes of "I'd like to Teach the World to Sing." Violence stops as Middle East leaders spend Sunday afternoons teaching each others' kids to fish. Wyld Stallyns' first top 10 hit.
Caveman HC6 | 05/20/08, 10:54 AM
Report Offensive CommentThanksgiving postponed - Detroiters wouldn't mind, would they?
Brian K Jones | 05/20/08, 10:57 AM
Report Offensive CommentAdd a comment
Remember to keep it clean. Bad words will get filtered, and offensive comments will be removed. More Guidelines