(São Paulo, Brazil) - The gradual decline in popularity of the Street Fighter videogame franchise coupled with Prince Fielder's rise to baseball stardom has added to the inner-turmoil suffered by the once-legendary Blanka, or Hamablanka Fielder.
Legend has it that Blanka was raised in the Brazilian jungles by wild beasts after a tragic plane crash, but the feral Blanka tells an entirely different story altogether.
"Cecil abandon me and leave me on doorstep of church. He look me green skin and orange hair and him scared. GRAAARGH! BLANKA SAD ABOUT DADDY CECIL LEAVING BLANKA! WHY HIM DO THAT?!"
Sibling rivalry often rears its ugly head during Fielder family reunions.
Blanka paused to run to a nearby stream, pull a squirming arapaima from the water, and bite its head off.
"Prince not want to admit Blanka him's brother. But Blanka pointed out we have same prominent lower jaw and exaggerated underbite. Prince then see. But Prince still**** and me going to perform electric thunder attack on him at Fielder Family Barbecue tonight."
When pointing out Prince's hot start for the first-place Milwaukee Brewers and his impressive home run hitting, Blanka scoffed.
"Did Prince beat M. Bison in street fight with ground shave rolling attack? No? Hmmm. Blanka wonder who did that...yeah...me wonder..."
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