Bigalke: Welcome back, everyone, to the Elite Throwdown Tournament studios here at the Ocho. My colleague, David, sits beside me here in the booth, ready to break down the second half of the first-round bracket. We have endured some changes to the bracket here... Joe Lunardi’s head would be spinning!
AHNN: No, my head is spinning- well, hopefully we will be ok here. Please remember, this is all in fun, so no hard feelings.
Bigalke: So with that said, let’s get down to analyzing the remaining first-round matchups... and be sure to check out the top half of the bracket for more hard-hitting analysis...
#3 v. #30 - The Bandit v. SS
AHNN: They Both Picked NFL- so this should be good. The Bandit- honestly might be one of the few persons on here that I have never TDed with and to tell you the truth- he might be the darkhorse on here- but If he takes down SS- who is one of the Dark Horses as well- not getting a lot of run in the overall poll- he will announce his presence BIG TIME
Bigalke: Were we to go simply by statistics this one would be a blowout by the Bandit. SS is hovering around .500 in his winning percentage, and as of Sunday had gone 1-4-2 in the past month. In the end, though, it feels to me as though SS has the greater body of work against quality competition...
AHNN: In FanNation history, there have always been tons of people on the leaderboard who chip off the weaker ones- and turn down TDs from more established people- and then once they lose one- they vanish- I have to give Bandit credit for stepping up.
Bigalke: But has he, really? SS might have a bad record over the past month, sending him closer to .500... but The Bandit, on the other hand, has done precisely ONE throwdown in the past thirty days -- a 16-3 blowout of Seth-20, hardly Elite-level competition. Ultimately, I think this one will come down to the Squirrel’s experience against stronger opponents trumping The Bandit’s gaudy record built on the backs of greenhorns...
Ghost: The Bandit - Shh...he's busy sneaking up your leader board and can't be disturbed by legitimate challenges.
SS - If he was as good with his TDs as he is with his nuts, we might get somewhere.
#14 v. #19 - The Hemogoblin v. Gu3
AHNN: These two I know very Well, and they Both Picked MLB and NFL and these two have tangled before- Gu3 has built a VERY respectable reputation since the Forfeit-O-Matic machine he was during his TD weekend
Bigalke: I may not be as familiar with Gu3’s body of work... in fact, Gu3 might not even be familiar with his recent body of work! Having gone 7-9-0 over the past month, Gu3 is in for a battle against a guy who I haven’t been able to get AWAY from throwdowning! Hemo’s losses over the past month include four alone to yours truly (2 in the SIFS Championship, one in the TD Masters Tournament, one in the NMI Tournament)... so take ME out of the equation and Gu3 is facing a guy who has gone 7-2-1 over the past month as of Sunday...
AHNN: Hemo is just Stunning here lately- completely dominating his tourneys- But Gu3 knows him – and Gu3 is crafty enough he might have a shock or two in his goody bag for Hemo- But hemo is definitely a scary one on this half of the bracket
Bigalke: Gu3 may have the higher win total, but Hemo simply wins against quality competition, as his 76.2% winning percentage attests. Gu3 has his experience, certainly... but Hemo looks better coming into this thing in my eyes...
Ghost: thehemogoblin - Asked us to change the tourney name to "Hemo and the Elite TDers". All the FN server downtime was because they had to add server space to contain his ego.
Gu3- He's already rearranging the letters of this sentence to spell something dirty. You better watch out for him before he fondles your TD.
AHNN: Hemo- he’s on a Streak
Bigalke: Hemo... since I’m not facing him!
#11 v. #22 - The Guru v. Bigdleech
AHNN: And now we have BigdLeech – who prepped for this tourney the easy way- by beating someone in the tourney- in this tourney! He would have missed the tourney altogether- but thanks to some drops and my own stupidity- He got a play-in game vs Lifer- then another spot opened up so the Winner got the Higher Seed!
Bigalke: Bigdleech certainly pulled off the surprise of the play-in seeding matchups. Eleven of the fourteen pollsters saw LIFER taking that contest... yet here’s Leech, sitting in the better seed with a match against The Guru. Both come in on good form over the past month, Guru sporting seven wins out of ten and Leech having won thirteen of his past fourteen (including the play-in throwdown versus LIFER).
AHNN: This might be interesting- since GURU has NFL and NBA and the Leech is a MLB Hack- Leech might be hoping for a rematch for REAL in round 2 vs Lifer.
Bigalke: This one will undoubtedly come down to which sport ends up comprising the topic... and also whether Guru decides to go first or to defer. I just like the way Bigdleech is coming into the round with a win already in his belt against a tough competitor... and I think he will offer up another surprise this round.
AHNN: Guru has been sitting back and no doubt has an advantage seeing the previous matchup- and Leech does get cocky- esp if he gets a lead- Guru seems to be a steady TDer to me- and since I picked leech last time- time to get ranting mails this time.
Ghost: The Guru - A spiritual master who can teach us how to lose 20% of the time. Just what our souls have been searching for. I guess the whole "Saint fan" thing should have been a big red flag...
Bigdleech - True to his name, this guy sucks the fun right out of TDing. He's like the Jack Lambert of FN: No one really knows how good he is because they all run away.
AHNN: I’ll Take GURU
#6 v. #27 - Porkins v. Lifer
AHNN: Ow MAN this should be good- Porkins is one of the favorites- and Lifer is a Hall of Famer- The rumors of Porkins trying to bet a Mint copy of his Princess Leia Action figure for Lifer Hall of Fame banner appear to be untrue to the best of my knowledge.
Bigalke: Who would’ve thought, first of all, that LIFER would have to play into this tournament? Then, after that, who would’ve expected him to be seeded as low as #27? This one should be a barnburner... Porkins is undefeated in the past month, eleven wins unblemished by either a defeat or a “kiss from his sister”... while Lifer has lost once for every victory accumulated. Porkins should be heavily favored going into this one... and into the entire tournament!
AHNN: Its Kind of odd to see Porkins in the 6 spot though- considering all the run he has been getting as a top 3 favorite in the whole thing- but considering he has stepped up the quality of his competition lately- that is to be expected- but I’d take a few losses to gear up to win this thing.
Bigalke: Certainly. Porkins has been preparing the right way for this tournament... yet still has a sterling record. Wins against Guru, Foosball and rstowe have Porkins in the right mindset coming into this first round. LIFER will undoubtedly be a tough foe, but I just can’t bet against a prohibitive favorite...
Ghost: Porkins - This guys spends as much time making an argument as he does prettying and dressing up for the Pimp's call-up.
Lifer - Our 102nd prediction is that this guy is our own private Steinbrenner, hoarding TDs, topics, blogs and trying to buy everybody off.
#10 v. #23 - 0x NFL/NBA Champion v. Cassidy’s House ???
AHNN: This should be good- 0x is coming off a MAJOR Tourney Win there- and Cass is Cass- she is STILL the only 3 time winner of the Tournament Throwdowns group- odd thing is- I have seen (and been a victim of) Cass in the NFL where she is STRONG- but 0x does not have NFL on his list- so this should be a MLB TD
Bigalke: Each of these throwdowners are ferocious in the forum, though 0x has had a much less contentious path to his record than Cassidy has had in accumulating hers...
AHNN: Let’s not forget that Cass has a lot of fans and a HaterNation that is larger than my own- something to that there- Hopefully we can have an HONEST Fight here- But not knowing MLB I have no idea.
Bigalke: No doubt about that, David...
AHNN: BREAKING NEWS- Cassidy has pulled out- so we have called up Cheesehead to be a substitute- MASSIVE props to 0x here- He said he didn;t want no Bye - and gave me time to find a replacement
Bigalke: Well, there goes all the analysis here... it sure was nice that Cheezhead could step in and help fill the void left by the withdrawal of Cassidy.
AHNN: Tell me about it- I do love the fact that Cheese is willing knowing the roll that 0x is on- but Cheese never has backed down.
Bigalke: Cheezhead should have a good matchup against 0x. These two have never faced each other before, and should probably be going toward a baseball topic. 0x has not been nearly as active as Cheezhead lately, so that should have an effect on this debate. The fill-in here, on the other hand, has been active this past month, going 12-6-1 including wins over Mike4redsox, The Savage, Denis24 and dudeman.
Ghost: 0x NBA/NFL Champion - Number of Vikes and Wolves titles, or number of girlfriends? Ooh...you betcha!
And BONUS! Cassidy - She might be a girl, but she'll TD b**** slap you like a man, or vice versa.
AHNN: I’m taking 0x here- for no other reason than the massive props for not wanting a bye
Bigalke: 0x deserves the credit... but Cheezhead should pull off the late-addition upset...
#7 v. #26 - Cain.Willis v. Nolan Adair
Bigalke: Cain/Willis is one of those competitors who gets little respect from the community at large due to alleged record-bolstering with creampuff throwdowns. However, with wins against guys like Goodell and gonets recently, it is apparent that this is a far more formidable opponent than many give him credit for...
AHNN: This one might turn into a Shocker- I know from personal experience that Nolan is pretty good- But Cain is all over the leaderboard and for good reason- but of the several people here with points to prove- I think Nolan has a pretty good shot. The Smart Money is on Cain here, but watch Nolan in the future.
Bigalke: See, for me Nolan Adair is a relative newcomer. With only 23 throwdowns under his belt (15-6-2), I fear he might not have enough experience to compete with a more seasoned debater... regardless of who his opponents might’ve been in compiling such a gaudy record...
AHNN: Well Like I said- Nolan is gaining by the day- and going up vs Cain and others here can only speed his development
Ghost: Cain.Willis - Just too damn good for this site, much like Zito is to the Giants.
Nolan Adair* BS - What? Is he just here to ask for directions?
AHNN: Raisin CAIN
Bigalke: I preferred the WILLIS moniker...
#15 v. #18 - Goodell v. Denis24
AHNN: This one Should be fun- Roger is number 2 in wins and Denis is as tough as they come- Dennis and I JUST TDed before the tourney- and I was up 23-22 when the Mods killed the TD due to the awesomeness it contained
Bigalke: Yeah... right. That HAS to be the answer, David...
AHNN: Well, they won’t give me a reason, or are afraid of KP to do so- so I’m using my reason
Bigalke: Fair enough... paranoid-delusional fantasies become you well, Throwdowner...
AHNN: Dennis is a VERY good opponent for anyone – and Roger has the same problem I do, He TDs so much that some think he is not as good as he is- problem is, Dennis can be a MONSTER- so even if Roger goes down here- nothing changes-
Bigalke: It is true, David. The most telling stat to me, though, is the fact that both these contestants have lost five contests and drawn three in the past thirty days... but while Denis has nine victories, Goodell has won THIRTY times. Goodell’s been more active recently, he’s got the better winning percentage over the past month, and he should emerge from here with the W...
Ghost: Denis24 - His TD arguments are to FN what Denny's is to breakfast. takes too long to come and after it's done it gives you diarrhea.
Goodell - Hey, you Td as much as this guy, and you're going to say something of value. The sun even shines on a dog's ****, some days. But he has about as much chance of winning this as do the Bills of losing 4 straight super bowls...Oh wait...
Bigalke: Okay, look’s like we’re in agreement here... moving on...
#31 v. #2 - Dudeman v. J ???
AHNN: Well For our final one we have Dudeman- and since J pulled out- I had to send the call out to Fannation for someone… Worthy to take over the Number 2 spot in the tounrey-- and
Tony Reali - Captain Freedom has come out of Retirement
Bigalke: Okay, if anyone out there gets that reference add five NERD points to your score...
AHNN: Dude I WROTE that Joke-
But coming out of retirement we get WALLACE
And He Faces Dudeman- who took the final play-in game, and I know Dudeman will be looking to make some noise here- but I know Wallace is looking to shake off a LOT of rust here- Big props for him to try this tourney, Personal Thanks to him- Whoa That’s Wallace? – Grabs Pencil and starts erasing his brackets – Sum Blatch!
Bigalke: Wallace comes into this contest as a former stalwart at the top end of the leaderboard. However, his recent hiatus -- his last contested throwdown ended on January 31 -- might have him in a bad spot against a throwdowner with more recent experience. However, despite his playing into the tournament, dudeman probably won’t be that guy. With a sub-.500 record and a 2-2-0 showing in the past thirty days, dudeman simply hasn’t been active enough to push that challenge...
AHNN: Wallace is not coming into this tourney with his chest out like you would expect- even admitting to FFNN (the fannation Fake News Network) That he does not deserve his seed and that NCshvDavid should get the seed-
Bigalke: You made that up!
AHNN: Ok- he also said you should get the three seed
Bigalke: What can I say? This is why Wallace is one of the best... the man knows what he’s talking about!
Ghost: WALLACE - This guy is less active than stowe's sex life without Viagra. So I have no clue about him. He does seem to have a thing for power rangers though.
Dudeman - What is this? the U-10 Championship? This kid is like Home Alone meets The Pest...watchout because he can raise kiddie hell on you.
AHNN: Wallace- shakin off the rust.
Bigalke: Coming out of retirement, Wallace emerges unscathed...
AHNN: That’s all Folks I would like to thank Bigalke, Ghost hunter, and Porkins for the TIME and EFFORT they put into this. If you liked it- let us know, and go vote on the TDs!