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Porkins.
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Hello class.

It is now time for everyone's favorite part of the educational process:

EXAMS

In traditional Clown College fashion, you will be expected to use all you've elarned to answer these questions quickly and accurately.

The topic of tonight's test is:

REFLECTIONS ON MONDAY NIGHT BASEBALL...Arizona at Boston


 All questions are worth 10 points


Question 1:  Steve Phillips is more retarded than:

A. That special kid who bags your groceries
B. Slowey McChoke
C. John Kruk after 18 beers
D. A New Kids on the Block reunion tour
E. All of the above


Question 2:  Eric Byrnes' "mustache" is as badass as:

A. David Eckstein's left hook
B. A powder-blue 1985 Dodge Aries K sedan
C. Baby food
D. Gandhi
E. An NBA slap fight


Question 3:  The best way to describe Curt Schilling would be:

A. Loudmouth jackass
B. Loudmouth jackass
C. Loudmouth jackass
D. Jackmouth loudass


Question 4: Randy Johnson will pitch well in the series if:

A. His adult diapers aren't too tight
B. Looking like you live in a trailer park/ are a musketeer helps you throw strikes 
C. He intimidates the Red Sox by exploding a bird
D. He trims his mustache to look like Eric Byrnes


Question 5: J.D. Drew is about as exciting as:

A. Drying paint
B. An evening with rstowe at the Home
C. "Plain" flavored yogurt
D. Your average Royals game
E. Canada