Hello class.

It is now time for everyone's favorite part of the educational process:

EXAMS

In traditional Clown College fashion, you will be expected to use all you've elarned to answer these questions quickly and accurately.

The topic of tonight's test is:

REFLECTIONS ON MONDAY NIGHT BASEBALL...Arizona at Boston

 All questions are worth 10 points

Question 1:  Steve Phillips is more retarded than:

A. That special kid who bags your groceries
B. Slowey McChoke
C. John Kruk after 18 beers
D. A New Kids on the Block reunion tour
E. All of the above

Question 2:  Eric Byrnes' "mustache" is as badass as:

A. David Eckstein's left hook
B. A powder-blue 1985 Dodge Aries K sedan
C. Baby food
D. Gandhi
E. An NBA slap fight

Question 3:  The best way to describe Curt Schilling would be:

A. Loudmouth jackass
B. Loudmouth jackass
C. Loudmouth jackass
D. Jackmouth loudass

Question 4: Randy Johnson will pitch well in the series if:

A. His adult diapers aren't too tight
B. Looking like you live in a trailer park/ are a musketeer helps you throw strikes 
C. He intimidates the Red Sox by exploding a bird
D. He trims his mustache to look like Eric Byrnes

Question 5: J.D. Drew is about as exciting as:

A. Drying paint
B. An evening with rstowe at the Home
C. "Plain" flavored yogurt
D. Your average Royals game
E. Canada

Question 6: Manny Ramirez's performance would improve if:

A. The Sox put a bathroom inside the Green Monster
B. He was allowed to carry water bottles in his pants
C. He was allowed to ritualistically slap Kevin Youkilis prior to each at bat
D. He would take hair styling tips from Covelli Loyce Crisp