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Dear Brett Favre,

I've been watching ESPN and I keep seeing this notice scrolling across the bottom, something about you wanting to come back. So I checked my facts and see that you're denying it. But I have a question for you: Seriously? Seriously right now? Didn't you already do the whole "I think I'm done oh! wait! no I'm not" thing already?

It would've been great if you'd gotten to the Super Bowl this year. I mean, I'd pick you and your cute dimples and rugged mountain man good looks over Eli any day. And I get that maybe you want another chance. Totally understandable. But if that's what you want, and this isn't just a rumor like you say, what was with the big press conference and the tough guy in tears act? Are you just eeny-meeny-miney-mo-ing it over there? Cuz that game should've been over before you scheduled the "I'm retiring" press conference.

I think you just don't know what you want. There's nothing wrong with that. I can't make up my mind about anything. But I do make sure I don't say concrete things (you know, like, I'm done) that I can't easily take back later. I think maybe you can't handle the withdrawal that inevitably comes when you stop doing something you've been doing for longer than you can remember. Or maybe you feel a little stiff when you roll out of bed each morning and you feel you're at the age where you should be turning in, but mentally, you just aren't ready to give it up. Maybe you don't want to stop playing because you don't want to admit that you're not as young as you used to be, even if you are just as good-looking as ever.

Maybe you still have an "itch" to play. Or maybe it's just "a rumor." (Were you referring to your reported desire for a comeback as a rumor, or did you just mean the fact that you told someone you had an itch? Or that it's a rumor that the "itch" was referring to football? Are you just trying to confuse us a little more?) I'd say I guess we'll figure it out soon enough, but isn't that what we all said as we were anticipating your retirement? 

Look, I wouldn't mind seeing you out there one more year. But I do mind you stringing everyone along for nearly a year as you try to figure out what it is you want to do. Are you tired of playing the game, or do you have "the itch?" It's decision time, dear. In or out? Or just itchy?