Yes it is true my loyal, yet deranged, followers. The Dark Lord of Sports is back. Thank you, thank you, please stay on your knees. After an extended hiatus in the belly of the abyss I have returned to wreak havoc on the world of sports once again! Truth be told, I actually missed your silly throwdowns and moronic blog posts. It brings me great satisfaction to witness the depth of mankind's ignorance. Your petty arguments bring a tortured smile to my rotting face and when the Dark Lord smiles, babies die. I like that.
Anyway, I have returned and have decided to bless you unfaithful scum with my venomous words once again. The Dark Lord will be bringing back Musings From The Dark Side and The Dark Lord Hates column for your sadistic pleasure. As always comments will be welcomed, then insulted and probably deleted muahahaha. Whatever "floats my boat" as you mortals say. Before I leave though let me leave you with a couple things that are on my thoroughly evil, yet insanely brilliant, mind right now.
- The Boston Celtics. RETCH!!!ACK! The bile that rises in my desiccated throat at the mere thought of them would kill off entire third world countries and half of Mexico! The Dark Lord LOATHES the Celtics and their ill gotten trophy. David Stern had a very big hand in their championship and his name should be printed on their championship banner and the names of every referee that officiated that series and then the banner should be used to smother them all in their sleep!
- Eli Manning. To think that snot nosed, spineless, **** actually out dueled Tony "Hollywood" Romo, Brett "I Do HGH" Favre AND Tom "I have a deal with the devil, AKA The Dark Lord of Sports" Brady to win the NFL championship is driving me insane! Or at least a little crazier than I was to begin with. Let me just say this, that historic "helmet catch" should have never happened and even though the Dark Lord despises all things New England I despise the Mannings even more. Now The Dark Lord has to not only deal with a Peyton Manning suckfest but an Eli Manning suckfest too! I think I'm going to smother myself with the Celtics championship banner. But not before I BRAIN the Manning brothers senseless with the Celtics championship trophy.
- The Arena Football League Playoffs. The Dark Lord hates arena football almost as much as college football. The short fields, the stupid ads on the uniforms, and the absurd point totals. What is this? Madden on the Easy difficulty setting? But, as much as I want to murder every AFL'er in his sleep I can't help to absolutely LOVE one thing. The AFL occasionally broadcasts the head coachs playcall to the QB and I think that is a great idea. Why doesn't the NFL do this? Then when the receivers run the wrong route or the play by play announcer calls the play wrong I verily kill myself in hyena like laughter. My blood choke gurgles that I call laughter also kills babies. So anything that aids in The Dark Lord killing children is a plus in my book.
- Gosder Cherilus. What the F***???
Well, that is all for now my misguided followers. Be on the watch out for more of The Dark Lord, because I AM watching you now BE GONE!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!