Sports’ dog days of summer are upon us, which means that NFL training camps won’t be far behind. (Thanks, Mungo.) The fields will be littered with bright-eyed and bulging-bicepped hopefuls, but not everyone is going to make the cut.
Here are some signs that you won’t be making the team:
10. You throw like an NFL QB -- on the Bears
9. The only way you “stretch the field” is by sitting down
8. You can’t even make it cloudy
7. Given the skyrocketing price of flour, you think holding the ball like a loaf of bread is a good thing
6. It turns out that really was flaxseed oil
5. You just got nipped in the 40 by Tiger Woods
4. The equipment manager gives you No. 132
3. Your greatest athletic achievement is starting the wave
2. You’re getting the cold shoulder from Mr. Irrelevant
1. The team’s offering you zero reasons to live
Faces at the U.S. Open
Comments (366)
11. You've got more DUI arrests than Touchdowns
MungoDM is boycotting the Spot | 07/08/08, 10:47 AM
Report Offensive CommentAnd I'm happy I could help Pete.....
Thought the one I tossed out this am was not bad either.
10 signs your franchise might be relocating.
MungoDM is boycotting the Spot | 07/08/08, 10:48 AM
Report Offensive Comment12. The only thing you can tackle is the media buffet.
SeanNJ - Minister of Liquor | 07/08/08, 10:48 AM
Report Offensive Comment11. Your college coach encouraged you to get a degree.
Caveman HC6 | 07/08/08, 10:50 AM
Report Offensive Comment13. You even get hurt playing wiffleball.
manta | 07/08/08, 10:50 AM
Report Offensive Comment12. The only thing you can tackle is the media buffet.
SeanNJ
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Nice.
The 10 Spot | 07/08/08, 10:50 AM
Report Offensive Comment13). The coach says, 'run the tires', but gives you a jack and points to the parking lot.
Rickapolis-Bard of Who's Who | 07/08/08, 10:50 AM
Report Offensive Comment13. You even get hurt playing wiffleball.
manta
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I don't get it.
The 10 Spot | 07/08/08, 10:50 AM
Report Offensive CommentThe coach gives you a playbook that looks like the menu board at McDonalds
SeanNJ - Minister of Liquor | 07/08/08, 10:50 AM
Report Offensive CommentAnd I'm happy I could help Pete.....
Thought the one I tossed out this am was not bad either.
10 signs your franchise might be relocating.
MungoDM
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This is no time to rest on your laurels.
The 10 Spot | 07/08/08, 10:51 AM
Report Offensive CommentFrom the last thread:
HB:AAL
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???
SoBeGaPe- My Birthday Boy! | 07/08/08, 10:46 AM
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My avatar. Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law.
And as for the 3rd DVD, my favorite scene is when Devlin is in the hospital and Birdgirl accidentally knocks out the electricity for Devlin's breathing apparatus and almost kills him. Harvey scolds Birdgirl by saying, "You almost killed the client before billable services were rendered!"
Anthony Verna | 07/08/08, 10:51 AM
Report Offensive CommentReceviers' coach has you run a pattern into the freeway, at rush hour.
SeanNJ - Minister of Liquor | 07/08/08, 10:51 AM
Report Offensive Commentinstead of signing a contract, they give you vouchers
Skooter23g | 07/08/08, 10:51 AM
Report Offensive Comment20) The coach leaves you with a copy of Weird Al's "Even Worse" album (whose first song was "Fat").
Anthony Verna | 07/08/08, 10:52 AM
Report Offensive Commentinstead of a dorm room, they put you in tent city
Skooter23g | 07/08/08, 10:53 AM
Report Offensive Comment11. Your agent refuses to work on commission.
Caveman HC6 | 07/08/08, 10:53 AM
Report Offensive Comment19) They use you as a tackling dummy.
Mr Adams | 07/08/08, 10:53 AM
Report Offensive CommentYou wake up next to Jimmy Hoffa.
SeanNJ - Minister of Liquor | 07/08/08, 10:54 AM
Report Offensive CommentMy avatar. Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law.
And as for the 3rd DVD, my favorite scene is when Devlin is in the hospital and Birdgirl accidentally knocks out the electricity for Devlin's breathing apparatus and almost kills him. Harvey scolds Birdgirl by saying, "You almost killed the client before billable services were rendered!"
Anthony Verna | 07/08/08, 10:51 AM
Report Offensive Comment
I spent a lot of time laughing about the joke timeline - all the uses of the recurring jokes throughout the series, especially "bweoop".
Biggles | 07/08/08, 10:54 AM
Report Offensive CommentThis is no time to rest on your laurels.
The 10 Spot | 07/08/08, 10:51 AM
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I had some laurels this weekend but the pharmacist gave me a cream that cleared them right up.
MungoDM is boycotting the Spot | 07/08/08, 10:54 AM
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