I know, I know. This last month has been tough. I teased you with an excellent blog, then disappeared for a month or so. I'm sorry. It's just that, well, I'm incredibly lazy. But now, I have returned, for another reading of the Gospel.
For my blog, I strive to do something other people aren't doing. Personally, I don't want to read about C.C. going to the Brewers in 18 different blogs. So every week (or the few weeks I write), I'll try to give you something fun to read (no offense to all you other inferior bloggers.)
Sports injuries are an integral part of the game (any game), and fans have been griping about them for centuries (decades). So naturally, they aren't a laughing matter. Unless they are really funny, that is.
So this week, I bring you, the 10 most ridiculous sports injuries since 2000.
# 10- Sammy Sosa
In 1998, Sammy sosa was the king of baseball, clubbing 66 home runs and winning the MVP as he led the Chicago Cubs to the Wild Card. Then it was all downhill. He was accused of steoid use, using a corked bat, and then hit rock bottom May 17, 2004. Before a game against the San Diego Padres at PETCO Park, reporters learned that Sammy Sosa was held out of the lineup. What happened, you may ask? He sneezed. Yes, he sneezed and threw out his back. Must have been one hell of a sneeze. It only got worse from there, becasue after that he had to play or the Orioles. Sammy Sosa, gesundheit.
Apparently, baseball players don't get enough sun, with playing 162 games outside and all. So Marty Cordova took it into his own hands to get himself a killer tan, and went to the salon. First of all, automatic deduction of man points for going to a tanning salon, but he had to fall asleep in the porcess. He got burned, badly. So badly in fact, he had to miss a few games. Serves him right, the woman.
For those of you who don't know, Letizi is a goalie in Paris. And apparently a Scrabble addict. If you watched the Scrabble championships on ESPN, you would know there aren't many injures. Hell, Letizi's may be the only one, as he threw out his back reaching for a tile he dropped. You'd think a goalie would have better grip than that, but hey....
Little known fact. Kevin Brown is an angry dude. Maybe well known. Little known fact, Kevin Brown hates walls. So when he gets angry, he punches them. Fact, Kevin Brown is incredibly stupid. Most people know that in a fight between you and a concrete wall, you'll lose, but after a bad outing, Brown picked a fight anyway. And broke his hand. At least he had the foresight to break his non-throwing hand.
Ken Griffey Jr.
Griffey is no stranger to embarrasing injuries, having pinched a testicle in how own cup once. But this is even worse. The future Hall of Famer broke his hand in the 2006 offseason, when he was wrestling his son. It would be totally cool if your son looked like this, but in fact, he's just a little kid.It's been reported Griffey has been training hard in hopes of a rematch.
I already feel bad for the guy. I mean, imagine how much kids picked on him in middle school. But thats completely unimportant. Seaman, Manchester City's goalie, was once a great goalie for Arsenal, but apparently he couldn't even pick up a remote without injuring himself, as he broke his hand while reaching for the clicker, likely to click the mute button on a Stephen A. Smith interview or something.
Glenallen Hill was probably the only person in the world to not see the Spidderman movies. He's deathly afraid of them, a disease known as arachnophobia. Apparently, he was having a really scary dream about spiders. So scary in fact, he rolled off the couch he was sleeping on, straight into a glass table, shattering it, and landing himself on the DL. Guess its time for a bad pun now. Talk about a rude awakening.
Paulo Diogo has just scored a goal, so in true soccer (futbol, whatever) fashion, he has to celebrate like a madman. Unfortunately for the recently married Diogo, his ring got in the way of his celebration, getting caught on a fence and tearing off part of his finger. Its not the injury thats hilarious, its the fact that whilst in excruciating pain, he was issued a yellow card for excessive celebration.
You may remember Bill and his brother Martin. They celebrated every field goal like they had just won the Nobel Prize. Well all this strenous celbrating finally caught up to Bill. In the first quarter of a game against the Giants in 2001, Bill broke his leg after celebrating a 42 yard field goal. THE FIRST QUARTER. He had put his team ahead 3-0. It wasn't that big of a deal! Bill Gramatica's crazy. The injury also pretty much ruined his career. He signed and was then cut by the Dolphins before being banished to AFL. Where he is, once again, a mediocre kicker.
There have been some pretty embarrasing injuries on this list, getting hurt by scrabble piecesm remotes, small children. But think of the thing someone is least likely to get injured by.A lot of people would think of a pillow, their soft, fluffy, and comfortable. Well, congratulate Brandon Inge, because he has done the impossible, landing on the DL with a pulled oblique muscle after moving a pillow. A pillow. And you wonder why the Tigers are struggling.