Posted by:
Random Caribou
I Hate People

Scavengers and sycophants and flatterers
and fools
Pharisees and parasites and hypocrites
and ghouls
Calculating swindlers, prevaricating frauds
Perpetrating evil as they roam the earth
in hordes
Feeding on their fellow men
Reaping rich rewards
Contaminating everything they see
Corrupting honest me like me
Humbug! Poppycock! Balderdash! Bah!
I hate people! I hate people!
People are despicable creatures
Loathesome inexplicable creatures
Good-for-nothing kickable creatures
I hate people! I abhor them!
When I see the indolent classes
Sitting on their indolent ****
Gulping ale from indolent glasses
I hate people! I detest them! I deplore them!
Fools who have no money spend it
Get in debt then try to end it
Beg me on their knees befriend them
Knowing I have cash to lend them
Soft-hearted me! Hard-working me!
Clean-living, thrifty and kind as can be!
Situations like this are of interest to me
I hate people! I loathe people! I despise and abominate people!
Life is full of cretinous wretches
Earning what their sweatiness fetches
Empty minds whose pettiness stretches
Further than I can see
Little wonder I hate people
And I don't care if they hate me!

I hate people! What I especially hate is this love affair everyone seems to be having with the wonderful, amazing can't-get-enough-of-him-because-I-have-no-life sickening Brett Favre Pain-In-My-**** Favre. "I'm so sorry to say I'm retiring" "Oh, wait, I'm not" "Strike that, reverse it." He is everywhere! In the news, in the magazines, on, on Fannation, EVERYWHERE!!! His face haunts me in my dreams, my nightmares, my EVERY WAKING MOMENT! I have hallucinations of thisson of a flip-flopper following me everywhere I go! In the shower, in the kitchen, in my car, at work, in my office, in the restroom, on the street, at Starbucks, EVERYWHERE!!! My wife and kid are walking about with a Brett face on. I need some meds, or something. Some favreofobiatocin meds to egt read of him forever! "Hey, guys! I'm retiring!" "Hey! Guess what? I'm back!" "Waaah!! Thompson is being mean to me!" "trade me or I will throw a temper tantrum!" "I want a contract!" I wish someone would just shoot him for the sake of all of our sanities! GO AWAY AND STAY AWAY! NO ONE WANTS YOU! "People don't love me anymore!" "Hey everybody! Look at me! There still some gas in my controversy tank!" "The Packers, the team I loved and revered and did the same to me back for 13 years is the root of all evils now because I say so!"

 I have the perfect arrangement: send him to NFL Europa. As far away as possible. I don't care if it does not exist anymore, remake it, and send him acros the ocean. Preferably somehwere in the middle of Slovakia, so he can feel right at hme. And because they do not have any cameras there. Just it him across the head with a bat, stuff him in a cardboard box and ship him. This solves everyone's problem! This gets him off of the Packers hands, it lets him play in -20 degree weather, and, most importantly, it gets him out of our hair! We would never have to hear from him again! Oh, my god, wait a minute. Brett Favre would be to NFL Europa what David beckham was to MLS. We would have to here about him "pioneering" Europe for months! Oh, no! It just never ends!

 I hate people, I hate Brett Favre


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