I am a Woman and I love SportsCenter
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Scene: A suburban, florescent lit office outside of Chicago, Monday Morning

Kari (on phone): Good morning. Jerry Angelo, please.

It's Annabelle Mae from Harpo. Ms. Oprah needs to speak to Mr. Angelo again. Well, bless your heart!

(taps fingers on desk)

Yo, Jerry...Kari here.

Yeah, we spoke on Friday. You don't remember? I was advising you on the current QB situation. Yeah, that's me. Looks like stalling on this lost the Bears a couple of decent QB's. Pennington signed with Miami and Leftwich signed with the Steelers yesterday.

Who's the GM here? Geez, don't you watch ESPN? Charlie Batch broke his collarbone in the preseason game on Friday night. Leftwich is going in as the second-string backing up Ben Roethlisberger.

Hey, Jerry...no offense (no pun intended), but have you ever entertained the thought that perhaps Lovie's loyalty to Rex and Kyle is a bit...misplaced? I'm sure they are nice guys, but nice doesn't get you that Lombardi Trophy. You can't rely on the defense to score points. Football actually requires some strategy on offense.

Hey, wait---I'm just trying to get you a little perspective, that's all. An outside look. Training camp is about half over. If you are going to bring in a new guy, it should be soon, don't you think? With Favre going to the AFC East, suddenly the NFC North doesn't seem so intimidating. We might actually have a chance of winning the division if we get shored up on offense.

Chris Sims is still on the roster at Tampa Bay. He looked pretty good over the weekend. I'm just saying.

Okay, well, you have a good day, Jerry. Think about it.

(hangs up phone)

This approach isn't working. I think I need to go up the ladder to one of the McCaskeys.

(dials phone)

Kari (on phone): Well, hello there. Yes, it's Annabelle Mae again. Darlin' can you please connect me to Mrs. Virginia McCaskey? Why, bless your heart!

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