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WHAT'S IN A NAME?

"I've Got LeBron, You've Got LeBrains, Let's Make Lots of Money"  

From 1892 thru 1954 twelve million immigrants came to America seeking freedom, fortune and the opportunity for a better life.  They arrived in waves from every part of the European continent--- They came as farmers, bakers, blacksmiths, tailors, masons, millers, fisherman and carpenters. One thing they had all in common was the language--- Most could not speak English.  

When they arrived at immigration on Ellis Island, they were processed and asked a series of 29 questions ranging from their name, age, sex, marital status, physical and mental health as well as their occupation.

 Many were briefed in the old country on how to answer the questions, but most had little, if any English education. If they were lucky enough to pass the inspection, they were granted entry, but with a hitch.

 Like most immigrants, they had European surnames, names that English speaking immigration officers couldn't pronounce. Quite often, you were renamed based on your occupation.

Joseph Kluzusnisky, a tailor became Joseph Taylor and Arthur Kurzweil the writer, became Arthur Booker.

It was fast and easy--- You are, who you are, based on your occupation. 

So it began. Tens of thousands of immigrants poured into America with new names like Freeman, Hunter, Gardner, Butler, Fisher, Porter, Mason, Carpenter, Miller and Smith.

Today, the practice still exists.

Tiger Woods, arguably the greatest golfer in the world is a feared in the woods and on the greens--- A Tiger with his golf clubs--- woods, irons and putter.

The beautiful and talented Angelina Jolie means angel of joy. She not only brings joy to Brad Pitt, but to millions of male admirers.  

LeBron James, the powerfully built, 6' 8" 250 pound superstar of the Cleveland Cavaliers became known as "King James" after he was chosen Mr. Basketball in the state of Ohio three straight years.  A perennial All-Star, LeBron was the first overall draft pick and rookie-of-the-year in 2003. 

When Cavaliers owner, Dan Gilbert signed superstar LeBron James to his last multi-million dollar contract he burst out in song. 

I've got the LeBrains, you've got the looks
Let's make lots of money
I've got LeBron, You've got the LeBrains
Let's make lots of money.

But not all names bring goodness, happiness and fortune. Some are just bad luck from the get go.

Former NFL kicker Tony Zendajas was accused of drugging and raping a patron of his San Dimas, California sports bar. Known as the "Mexican date rape drug," he slipped her a "Zendejas."  

Remember Teddy Dupay? The scrappy, easily hateable Florida guard who left for the NBA early because of a gambling probe and ultimately went undrafted? He was charged with felony rape, aggravated sexual assault and aggravated kidnapping of a woman whom he had a two-year relationship with at a Utah ski resort.

 When you do bad things, it will eventually catch up with you and you will have.... Dupay.

Buffalo Bills running back Marshawn Lynch got into trouble, no he didn't Lynch anyone, but he have his driver's license revoked in traffic court because of his involvement in a hit-and-run incident. Lynch said he didn't know he hit someone when he struck a woman with his SUV and kept going.

After the judges ruling he replied, "The NFC East can't tackle me, this lady sho' can't either!"

Just doing what a first round fantasy draft pick should do... hit and bounce it to the outside for a big gainer... 6 points plus a 3 point distance bonus.

March-on, Marshawn!

New York Giants running back Ahmad Bradshaw received a 30-day jail sentence because of a probation violation.

Maybe if you were named "Ah-happy," he wouldn't have to share a bunk bed at the Graybar Hotel?

I guess this training camp gives a new meaning to the word, "roommate."

Ex-NBA star Isaiah Rider, who has been on the wrong side of the law before and has a rap sheet longer than a roll of Charmin, was recently jailed in Los Angeles under suspicion of stealing a car.

Stealing a car? C'mon Rider! Pay attention! Like the truck rental company (Ryder), the rules are... You have to return it after you're done!

Some athletes are nicknamed before they become a professional athlete. Take Adam "Pacman" Jones, the uber talented, troubled cornerback of the recently acquired Dallas Cowboys, who was involved in a shooting of a security guard at a Las Vegas strip club in 2007, when Jones and his posse "made it rain"  with hundreds of dollar bills totaling over $80,000.   

No, Pacman didn't pick up his nickname while he was trying to impress topless dancers named Cherry, Strawberry, Peaches, Apple, and Pineapple, nor was he trying to destroy patrons Blinky, Pinky, Inky, or the security guard named Clyde, like the video game. He's nicknamed "Pacman" because he's the guy that's always... Packin', as in packing a gun--- locked and loaded, that's "Pacman."

And some nicknames are way off base. Take Curtis Jackson, rapper and multi-millionaire; nicknamed 50 Cent by his posse G-Unit, they were correct about him being money... just off by eight decimal places!

 

Copyright 2008 Steve Kay

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