We have just been informed that Slowey McChoke has just shattered the Homerun Record by getting 1,097 in the regular season to this point. He is doing phenominal.
His On Base Percentage is still way off the charts at a .999 in which nobody will ever be able to touch.
However, there is more news that has happened. Slowey McChoke has finished his Starting Pitching Position with a 150-0 Record, an ERA of .000000000000000000000001 and 1,000,000,000,000,000 strike-outs, the beast is impossible to stop.
Now, Slowey McChoke has gained a new position on the defensive end of the baseball diamond. Here is his new position. He will be the closer in the Bullpen for the team. His Theme song is even better than Mariano Rivera's will ever be, here it is:
That is all for now, he will be the closer for his first game tonight, so watch it on your imaginary television everyone!
Your Beer Drinking, Water Gun Squirting, Yellow Goggle Wearing, Hero!