This past saturday I had the good fortune to attend a Cubs game. You don't turn down free box seats to the Cubbies on any day, especially a saturday. After the obligatory pre-game Old Styles outside the park, we found our way to our section and the usher showed us to our seats with a wink. "Congratulations, you've got the Bartman seat," he told me. Congratulations? Hearing the news that you are sitting in the Bartman seat was surprisingly similar to finding out the girl you are dating is bi-sexual. Stay with me on this:
- Bi-sexual girl - You are initially ecstatic about the potential 3-somes
- Bartman Seat - You are initially ecstatic and text everyone you know about your seat
- Bi-sexual girl - You are convinced life is joyous bliss
- Bartman Seat - You are convinced you are going to catch a foul ball
- Bi-sexual girl - Worry creeps in as you fear she won't be faithful
- Bartman Seat - Worry creeps in as you fear you might lean over the railing for a ball still in play
- Bi-sexual girl - By mid-relationship, the paranoia of her having 3-some behind your back is taking away the joy of a bi-sexual girl
- Bartman Seat - By mid-game, the paranoia of getting screamed at by fans if you catch a ball that is still in play is taking away the joy of your great seats
- Bi-sexual girl - Your anxiety and fear cause the relationship to go to hell
- Bartman Seat - Your anxiety and fear cause you to move seats
Wearing my cuban and the cubs t-shirt, I channelled all the site's good vibes into the seat back. If this site can help influence the purchase of the Cubs, it can reverse the bad mojo of the Bartman seat.
Anne V
Alison Preston
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In a word, no.
Cassidy's House:…
Whatsittoya, NO
Total Comments (16281)
i had the seat right behind that once
woooooo
Chicago , IL
Total Comments (732)
Just a no? No explanation?
Now In Chicago
Chicago , IL
Total Comments (21)
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