bluemonkeydiscoparty's Blog
  • 03:42 PM ET  09.06
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BMDP has friends at an advertising agency that works with the NFL. And while the NFL is as popular as ever, they still need a little shot in the **** to help sell tickets sometimes. Our source let us know what each team is using as a motto to help them try and get as many new fans as possible.

Giants - Hey maybe Eli Manning doesn't suck as bad as we originally thought.

Eagles - If you like drinking and swearing, you'll love rooting for the Eagles. Who are we kidding, you live in Philly. Drinking and swearing is what you do best.

Tampa Bay - Why aren't you watching the Rays right now?

Green Bay - We're gonna throw a  #4 on the back of Aaron Rodgers' jersey and try and pretend this off season never happened.

Redskins - It's 3rd and 15...

Bills - Even we don't have Lee Evans on our fantasy team.

Bears - Now with 100% less Grossman.
 

 Texans - The only team in Texas capable of making the slaughtering at the Alamo seem tame.

Raiders - What we don't beat in the stadium we beat in the parking lot after the game.

Miami - Come for the weather. Stay for the weather.  

Ravens - You could get to see up to 4 different quarterbacks throw to Todd Heap during a single game. Scratch that, Heap is on the IR again.


Steelers - Cause there's nothing else going on in Pittsburgh.

Vikings - We'd just like to remind you we took Adrian Peterson with the 7th pick last year. Suck on that Detroit!

Panthers - If you don't come to the game Steve Smith will punch you in the face.

Jaguars - Every game that Fred Taylor's groin is healthy the fans get in free.

Chiefs - We clicked our ruby red slippers together all off-season long and we still couldn't get the **** out of Kansas City.

Bengals - You could pick most of this years team out of a lineup. And given our players penchant for breaking the law, there's a good chance you'll be doing so in a police station.

Colts - Peyton Manning took time out of his busy spokesperson career to play a couple of games for us this year.  

Lions - We're only two seasons away from Jon Kitna's prediction of 10 wins in a season...come on, you live in Detroit--you should be used to disappointment by now.

49ers - The 49th person thru the gate gets to play quarterback.

Broncos -  Our receivers will literally crash through you television screen.

Cowboys - If God had never intended for Pacman Jones to be a Cowboy he never would have invented **** bars.

Titans - For better or worse...Tennessee: Now with 25% more Vinceanity.

Patriots - We cheat on the field so our fans don't get cheated in the stands.

Rams - We swear to God, there will be no Gus Ferotte this year.

Seahawks - We aren't sweating selling tickets cause we know your not watching the Mariners or the Super Sonics.  

 Chargers - The only team capable of getting more use out of our health insurance policy than we get out of Ladanian Tomlinson.  

 Browns - We' re actually probably gonna be decent this year. SERIOUSLY! I know we are as suprised as you are!

Saints - The only thing blowing harder than the wind is Reggie Bush's yards per carry.

Jets - We don't know if you have heard, but Brett Favre will be piloting  the "Crash and Burn" offense all season long.  

Cardinals - Because the law of averages has to catch up with us at some point, right?  

Falcons - You know dog fighting may actually be more entertaining than watching us try and play football this year...

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