FanNation - The Republic of Sport

6:22am - "Hey Plax, it's Ahmad.....CRAZAZY time last night...I hope you're awake, we have meetings at 8am. Buzz me back if you want anything from Starbucks. PACE."

7:32am - "Yo Plax, Bradshaw again. Hope your up, bro. Coughlin is going to be in a mood today after that crap showing against Cinci. Yo...I just remembered what you were doing at the club last night...**** was HILARIOUS. I called over, they found your suit pants in Jeter's VIP room along with those welding goggles you had on and some....hold up...yeah lemme have a Grande Vente Mocha Machiatta....yo Plax holla back man I gotta pay this barista."

8:30am - "Plax....AB again. Yo **** is going down man where the hell are you? Coughlin is wiggin' out. I told him there was a crash on the NJ Turnpike....I think I bought you another 30 minutes at best. GET UP."

9:08am - "Plaxico, hey it's Coach Coughlin...listen, we're trying to find out where you are. Ahmad had mentioned something about a crash on the Turnpike...just wanted to make sure you are ok. Give me a call let me know if things are clearing up...I can push back receiver meetings. Call me back please."

9:34am - "Plaxico, Coach C again. I'd appreciate a call back. I'm getting a little nervous. I know this is a bye week, but we'd like to get some things done before I give you guys a few days off. Call us. Please."

9:58am - "WHERE THE **** ARE YOU?!? I GO OUT OF MY WAY TO GET YOU A NEW CONTRACT AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME? I TOOK YOUR SORRY **** TO THE PROMISED LAND, AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO? CALL ME BACK!"

10:17am - "Oh hey Plax, it's Eli. Just wondering if you were gonna show up today. I'd hate to have to play Seattle with old balls Amani on one side and a pack of rejects on the other. You know I'll be staring down Boss all day and get exposed again. Please call me back. I need you. It's Eli."

10:19am - "Hi Plaxicooo.....this is Yvonne over at Blockbuster Video, just calling to remind you that you have a handful of overdue DVD's out...looks like Footloose, Sex and the City season 4, annnnnd...hang on....oh got it, Gremlins 2. These have been out for quite a bit...can you try and bring them back soon. I'll even wave the late fees. Thanks Mr. Burress!"

11:31am - "Yo Plax, Strahan here. I was thinking about swinging by practice today, again, for the 60th time since August. You wanna grab some lunch at the Grasshopper? Give me a shout, or I'll just see you down there. Later bud."

12:04pm - "Plax. Eli. Hope you are OK."

12:16pm - "Yo it's AB again...I cracked. Coughlin knows about the party last night. He's super fired up. You may be suspended. Sorry bro."

12:30pm - "Hello Plaxico, it's Jerry Reese. We've repeatedly tried to get in touch with you, and we know you're now avoiding us....sad really. We're going to have to suspend you for two weeks. Luckily for you, we have a title to defend or it'd be worse. You remember our little meeting when you signed your new deal...about compliance, etc? Looks like I was right all along...should've waited until the offseason and grabbed Boldin. Weak, man....very weak."

12:32pm - "Plax my man, heeeeyyyy, it's your boy Rosenhaus. No worries bro, I've already filed a grievance....don't sweat it cat take as lonnnnnnnnnngggg as you need. Hell, do sit ups in the driveway if it makes you feel better. Let me handle this...gotta run recording some footage on your behalf to post on youtube. I'll text you the link. Later bud."

12:54pm - "Yo Plax, it's Magic. Just wanted to give you a heads up, there will be a New York City Spartans Alumni party thrown at Carrabba's on the 18th of October. Any questions give me a call. Hope you can make it. Tell Duckett too, I think you play each other in a few weeks...he's not returning my calls. Later homey."

1:18pm - "YOU THINK YOU CAN SHOW ME UP YOU SON OF A ****?!? NOBODY SHOWS UP TOM COUGHLIN...I'M A SUPER BOWL CHAMPION. SEE HOW YOU LIKE MISSING TWO GAMES CHECKS BEEEEOCTH!"

1:34pm - "Hi Mr. Burress, it's Chief Robert Coyle of the Totowa PD. Listen, I know we had that temporary restraining order lifted, but Tiffany is LIVID about last night. She is threatening to go to the press. I'll try to create a diversion. In the mean time, let me know if my pepper spray shows up in your backyard...can't find it, but I recall you making a steak on the grill late night and saying it needed an extra kick. By the way, tell Bradshaw that was DEFINITELY not a woman."

1:41pm - "Yo ****, I saw what you did to my VIP room. NOT COOL. Remember, I have a lot more rings than you, and last time I checked, Derek Jeter runs this city. I expect some answers."

2:02pm - "Plax. Eli. Call me."

2:08pm - "Hey Plax, did you call me? Thought I heard the phone ring. Call me back."

2:12pm - "Hey Plax, Eli Manning here. Just thinking about ya. Give me a buzz."

2:13pm - "YOU'RE FINISHED BURRESS...NOBODY MAKES AN **** OUT OF COUGHLIN....NOBODY!"

2:14pm - "Hey Plax, it's Feagles. If you're quitting, can I have my old number back? Let me know."

2:15pm - "...................................um......Eli here..........(sigh).....this is just....there's not......ohhhhh ****."