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The Sports Comedian

The Sports Comedian - SportsComedian.com

Economy Forces Royals To Fold, Bought Out By Yankees

  • 08:57 AM ET  09.27
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The recent economic downturn has meant hard times for several Major League teams. The Los Angeles Dodgers were forced to use bottles balsamic vinegar instead of champagne for their playoff clinching celebration last night, resulting in many jerseys ruined and many eyes burned. But it has hit nowhere harder than the Kansas City Royals who announced today that they were going under due to financial bankruptcy. But, all is not lost as the New York Yankees have acquired the assets of the Royals for $324 dollars.

Many fans are worried what this will mean for them and the future of their team, so Hank Steinbrenner held a press conference to address their concerns. "We want to assure everyone that your team will not be going anywhere," said Steinbrenner. "We will be renaming them the Kansas City Little Yankees. Yes, it is a little insulting and degrading of a name, but not anymore so than the baseball that has been played here over the past decade. Speaking of which, we want to assure everyone that the same Kansas City baseball you have come to love will still be played here. If ever a player starts performing well, especially a starting pitcher, they will be traded to the Yankees immediately.

"We know what you people here have come to expect, and we will not stand in the way of that like some giant corporation. One of the major reasons for the financial trouble of this team has been this stadium. It's so big, and you have a giant parking lot around the thing to boot. So, we're going to sell off the parking lot land and allow you to drive in a park right on the field. This will be a little hectic for the players, but you've got to deal with some things when you're the Little Yankees..."


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